KIM TAEHYUNG | taehyung x irina

seven

| irina's point of view

"Hey." I gave him a small smile as soon as he opened his door for me. "Did I wake you?"

"Irina. As much as I want you here at my place, you can't just pop out of thin air without telling me ahead of time." He tousled his bed hair but welcomed me in anyway.

"Why? Are you hiding another girl in here?" I playfully joked, looking around his apartment. He stopped me, pacing his arms around me and pulling me to his chest as his lips touch my shoulder. "I mean, it's fine with me. would totally understand if you're seeing someone else. We're not really in a relationship anyway."

"It's not like that." He hummed and pulled me inside, face buried in my hair. "It's because I'm not always at home and I don't want you to wait outside my door, in the cold. You know I spend most of my time at the hospital now. Things have been chaotic there."

"I know. Next time, I'll let you know ahead of time." I put my hands on his arm that was caging me in. "I brought some light liquor from work. Want to stay up and drink with me?"

"Irina, I have to finish my 16hour duty tomorrow. I can't drink." Taemin tried to bargain and I gave him a frown in response. "Why do you suddenly want to drink tonight? Did something happen at work?"

"No, nothing happened." I lied. I'm good at lying. It's the only thing I'm good at aside from pushing people away. "I just feel like it. Come on, drink with me? Just a bit." I flashed him a smile as I slide my hand down his arm. "You won't get drunk over this. I swear."

I grinned when he finally agreed and then we sat on his couch, facing the balcony. We watched the starless night sky. It was always like that. Dark and lonely. I wonder if the sky was feeling the same sadness I have been carrying in my chest, the same loneliness that kept me awake at night, that made me wonder what I'm doing with my life. Why I am seeing a guy I have no connections with? Why am I still not quitting my job? Why I was so hurt when he chose to leave?

It was my decision to push him away but why did it feel a hundred times worse when what I wanted came true, when he left me there. Why did his words hurt so much? And why do I care about what he thinks when I've never cared about anybody else's opinions before?

"What are you thinking about?" Taemin asked. I didn't notice that he has been watching me space out, holding a glass of alcohol in my hand.

"Nothing." I gave him a weak smile which wasn't that convincing for him.

"You're beautiful when you're so lost in your thoughts." Taemin gazed at me with so much admiration and it hurt not being able to see that in myself. It hurts to see him falling in love with me when I'm not even certain that if I'm capable of liking him back.

"Marry me, Irina." He said instantaneously while studying my face.

"What?" I blurted out, completely speechless afterwards. I watched his unwavering expression towards me. "Are you being serious?" I let out a laugh then snatched his glass from him. "No more alcohol for you."

"I am serious with you. You're the one who's been avoiding me all the time, making a joke out of this as if my feelings doesn't exist." He replied, taking his glass back and drinking the alcohol in one shot.

"I'm not a prize that you can just brag about to everyone." I retorted.

I didn't know why but I felt angry, not particularly towards Taemin, but to all the men who tried to own me, tried to hold me down, and tried to tell me what to do. "For fuck's sake. I'm not anyone's property, Taemin. When will all of you stop trying to own me!"