A Hidden Side

You Never Get Hurt

Jared spotted Evan talking to Alana from across the room. As his eyes fell on the boy, that familiar feeling planted itself in his stomach. His immediate reaction was to run over to him, but no, if he did that he'd look too keen. He needed to keep his reputation as the boy who didn't care, especially with Evan. He was still closeted, after all.

After he saw Alana start to leave, he strolled up to the boy. He could see Evan's body language change, and it made him happy to know that Evan was slightly more comfortable around him, that he could see a part of Evan that no one else did, except Heidi, of course. He needed an opener, something that would tease him, maybe even make him blush. Oh, he loved it when he blushed.

Then he saw his left arm. A cast.

"Is it weird to be the first person in history to break their arm from jerking off too much, or do you consider that an honour?"

Evan's eyes widened and he looked around anxiously. He stepped towards Jared in one big stride, and said, "no, stop, I didn't, I wasn't, I wasn't doing that!"

Jared smiled and said back, "paint me the picture, you're in your bedroom, you've got Zoe Murphy's Instagram up on your weird cell phone." As much as he hated to remind himself of how much Evan loved Zoe, it was one of the things that he could easily talk and tease him about. Evan kept himself to himself, not letting anyone in, and hardly let anyone know anything about him - this was one small bit of information that Jared knew, and he was going to use it to his advantage. Plus, he could never show how much he loved Evan, so he went far in the opposite direction by talking about Evan's love for Zoe. Jared's motto was 'if you never make yourself vulnerable, you never get hurt'. If he never told Evan how he felt, he could never get rejected.

Evan looked around. "Shush, that's not what happened, obviously. I was just, well, I was climbing a tree, and I fell."

Jared masked his worry about this with a joke: "you fell out of a tree? What are you, like, an acorn?"

"Well, I was, I don't know if you know this, but I worked this summer as an apprentice park ranger, um, at Alyson State Park. I'm sort of a tree expect now, I mean, not to brag."

God, he was cute.

"Anyway, I, um, I tried to climb this wondrously tall oak tree–"

"And then you fell?" He said it as sarcastically as possible, but concern crept up over him. What if he had done more than break his arm? Jared couldn't lose Evan, no matter how much he pretended he didn't care. He wouldn't be able to bare it.

"Well, it's a funny story though because there was this solid 10 minutes after I fell where I just lay there, um, on the ground waiting for someone to come get me, I was just, 'any second now,' you know, I kept, uh, I was saying to myself, 'any second now they're gonna come'."

"Did they?" again masking his worry with a casual, sarcastic tone.

"No, nobody came, that's the, um, that's what's funny."

"Jesus Christ!" Jared let slip an exclamation of his concern. He quickly passed it off as teasing Evan, but felt a pang of guilt. He knew how alone Evan felt, and Jared selfishly acted as if he didn't care to save himself from getting hurt. How could he not think about how Evan could get hurt? If he didn't try so hard to show he didn't care, he could have been there. He could have come. He could have found him.

But no. He reminded himself of his motto, choked back the guilt and put on a smug face.

Evan stumbled over his words to ask Jared about his summer and Jared made up some stuff. He actually spent the summer missing Evan. Evan wasn't on any social media for fear of being judged for anything he posted, and even if he were, Jared couldn't talk to him online. You can't convey sarcasm through writing.

He also could never let Evan know he would voluntarily talk to him, online or not. But, oh, if he could, he would talk to him all day. Or just sit and watch him. Just be with him, seeing all his funny mannerisms, watch him blush, laugh, stammer, watch the way he nervously nudged his nose. He noticed so much of Evan that Evan would never know.

Suddenly, he was asking him to sign his cast. Jared got excited, seeing his cast all plain and new - no one else had signed it yet. It would be the first, and quite likely, only signature he'd have. Evan would brandish his name on his arm. Now that would be cool.

No.

Don't look like you care. Don't be too keen. If you never make yourself vulnerable, you never get hurt.

"Why are you asking me?" Jared ventured, trying his hardest not to blush. He knew the reason - Evan had no other friends - but he couldn't help but dream it might have been for a real reason, that it meant something.

"Well, I just, I thought, because we're friends–"

Jared winced. He didn't want to be Evan's friend, he wanted to be so much more. But that's all Evan would see him as.

No! You know what? He refused to be friendzoned. They were not friends.

"We're family friends. That's, like, a whole different game and you know it"

If you never make yourself vulnerable...

"Hey," Jared said, placing his arm on Evan's shoulder - his hand felt electric at the touch. "Tell your mom to tell my mom that I was nice to you, or else my parents won't pay for my car insurance."

...you never get hurt.