Now We're Even (#Wattys2017)

ix) sim

This was crazy. James was crazy. If Larissa had been James, she would have left Alejandro for dead on the curb. But of course, she wasn't James. And she couldn't exactly turn away her best friend and his unconscious ex when they turned up on her front doorstep. Even if the ex happened to be an attempted murderer.

Larissa nudged open the bedroom door. Bars of sunlight crept in through gaps in the drawn blinds, illuminating part of James' face and hand... a hand that was tightly intertwined with another's - Alejandro's. Larissa forced back a shudder.

"James?" she asked. He must not have noticed her entrance, because when he glanced up he jumped a little in his seat and let go of Alejandro's hand. She couldn't quite pinpoint the look on his face in that moment; was it embarrassment, or maybe guilt?

"I brought you some tea," she continued, holding out the mug. James didn't reply or make a move for it. "How are you?"

"...Fine," he said.

"Do you want something to eat? I have bread, I can make a toastie-"

"I'm fine," he repeated, gaze still focused on the floor. Larissa was still awkwardly holding the tea towards him, but it didn't look like James was going to take it. She set it on the dresser and crouched beside him.

"Don't you wanna come out? You've been in here for hours."

"Lara, I'm fine." He sounded more annoyed than anything.

"Well you don't seem fine." Her words sounded sharper than she was expecting.

"Larissa... please, just go," he said. She wanted desperately to rebut, but she couldn't think of anything to say. She reluctantly got to her feet and left the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She couldn't believe what she was doing, leaving her best friend with the man who'd tried to kill him. She wanted to do something, but what? What was she supposed to do?

What the hell was going on?

**************************************************

The first thing Ali was aware of was the smell of cigarette smoke. The second was the pain in his head.

A pulsing, heaving ache near his forehead. Some part of his mind knew that this wasn't the first time he'd woken. He vaguely recollected the wetness on his cheeks that heralded the presence of tears. He remembered the way his mouth moved to the words I'm sorry. He racked his brain for answers. Where am I? What happened to my head? What am I sorry for?

Then it hit him.

Words. Words spilling from James' mouth. Words that made the sky spin and his stomach drop.

Running. Feet slapping on the bitumen. Running from James, from that apartment, from himself.

Tripping. The ground racing to meet him. That second suspended in the air, unsure of everything, apart from the crushing truth. The truth that threatened to bury him alive, drown him-

And then black.

And now... this room, the smell, the pain, the truth...

Ali felt like screaming.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD WHAT I HAVE DONE OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

Now the door was opening... now he could see a shock of red hair... now he could felt his heart swallowing itself-

"Oh. You're awake."

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

James seemed almost the same as he had earlier today. He looked almost bored, with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his gaze focused on the far wall. The screaming in Ali's mind wouldn't let up, and he struggled to get any words out at all.

"James-James I'm so sorry, I'm so sor-"

"I've got your phone." James cut in. He didn't seem bothered by Ali's tone. He simply tossed a black object onto the duvet, and turned on his heal. The door thudded shut behind him. Ali reached for the phone and turned it over in his hand. The otherwise smooth surface sported a single crack. He couldn't remember dropping it, but he assumed it'd fallen out of his pocket somewhere between James telling him and... well, it didn't really matter anyway. He had it now, so he pressed the on button. As he waited for the screen to light up, his mind flickered back to how he'd come to be here in the first place. If that sim card hadn't happened to have fallen out of his wallet, he wouldn't be here at all, he wouldn't have started this whole dreadful chain of events-

Oh.

The sim card.

Oh.

Ali's mind was slow to wrap around the fact. He knew what this meant. He thought it hadn't been possible for this day to get worse, but somehow, it had. He'd ruined everything.

And it was all because of that little card.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

Ali pushed himself off the bed and onto his feet. The pain in his head was almost blinding, but he began to make his way across the bedroom floor. He'd done enough damage already. He couldn't waste any more time.

Ali found that woman from earlier this morning standing in the kitchen. She looked up in shock at his wild entrance, but he couldn't stop to explain. He was halfway to the front door when a hand, firm on his shoulder, startled him to a halt.

"Where are you going?" Ali spun to face James. His eyes were wide with... what was that? Fear? Desperation? Ali didn't have time figure it out.

"I'm so sorry. I have to go. I'm so sorry," he chocked, warm tears beginning to streak down his face. He went to turn again, but-

"Wait! What happened? Where are you going? You can't just leave!"

"This was a mistake," Ali gestured wildly with his hands. "This was all a mistake. I'm so sorry, please, I'm so sorry. I have to go." And with that, with his heart still pounding and head still throbbing, Ali threw open the door and ran.  

a/n - hey so sorry this took so long to write, but hopefully we should get the next chapter out like next week maybe? maybe sooner? but yeah thanks for being patient and everything :) just a quick note (and i'm being totally hypocritical bc i do this all the time), but if you read our work and you like it can you please vote?? i know authors say this all the time and it's super annoying to get it shoved down your throat, but it would mean a lot to us. also we're thinking of starting a sorta shared thoughts book so that might be up in the next week or so :))