Now We're Even (#Wattys2017)

xi) flame

God, what now?

She looked to James, his skin even paler than usual and mouth hanging open slightly. They stood there for a silent minute, Alejandro's words hanging in the air.

"We have to get him." He said. No, we don't, she thought immediately, but decided to keep her mouth shut. It had been a long day for both of them.

"Lara?" James moved towards her. "We have to get him," he grabbed her by the wrists, bony fingers digging into her flesh. "He could be anywhere, he could be in danger or lost or-" suddenly she couldn't stand his hysteria anymore.

"No, James, we don't have to get him. He's a grown man and even if he is a fucking psychopath he'll at least have a little common sense left in him. And so what if he doesn't, what should you care?" Larissa realised her voice was climbing in the heat of the moment. She didn't try to stop it. "For god's sake, have you forgotten what he tried to do to you? He tried to kill you James. Whatever you felt for each other was forgotten as soon as he picked up the knife. You hardly made it out alive, and now you're running around trying to save him? I don't get you James, I really don't."

He said nothing, but his face burned bright red. It was a long, tense moment before he lifted his eyes to meet hers. Those clear, hazel eyes. Eyes that, no matter how hard James tried, could never hide the truth. She could read those eyes like a book.

And then, quite suddenly, she understood.

He's still in love with him.

James muttered something about her being right, but she wasn't listening. She turned away, grabbed her coat from the rack, and opened the door to the frigid evening air.

"You coming?" She asked. James furrowed his brow.

"To where?"

"We're going to find your ex."

----

The night was blisteringly cold, and James was blisteringly confused. He lagged behind as Larissa half-jogged down the stairs. Just a moment ago, she had been arguing with him about getting Ali back, and now she was leading the hunt? It didn't make any sense. James hated being left in the dark. He considered for a second whether Lara had actually been referring to Ali as the 'ex'. But really, before him, there weren't many exes worth finding.

"Where do you think he is?" Lara called, interrupting his thoughts.

"What the hell is going on with you? You were literally just yelling at me, saying Ali wasn't worth finding –"

She spun on her heel so quickly that he nearly ran into her.

"Don't worry. I get it. We'll find him, and everything will be alright. Ok?" Lara spoke with an almost mother-like tone, the voice she used when he was sick and she was comforting him.

What the fuck? What was there to get? What did she mean?

"Ah ok... I guess," he replied out of sheer bewilderment. They got to the bottom of the stairs, and were now making their way down the driveway. James glanced upwards and stuck his hands deep in his pockets. The sky was, by now, a vast expanse of midnight blue, speckled here and there with pinpoints of light, but devoid of a moon. He didn't mind that. He'd always liked the stars so much more than the moon.

He wondered if Lara was right after all, if Ali was worth going after. Maybe James should just turn around now and forget today ever happened. It wouldn't be so hard, after what he'd had to forget before. He tried to think of why he'd thought it a good idea in the first place, bothering with his attacker, and he came up short.