an unexpected love story

an introduction

Saturday, November 12th, 2005

Macy

I can hear the robins chirping outside my window and I smell the sweet honey suckle. 
I don't understand, it's fall but it feels like spring. 
Everything feels so fresh and bright.  The smells, the air, the scenery, it all feels like spring, but it's not. 

"Macy breakfast is ready come downstairs!"  I hear my mother call to me.

I tune her out and continue looking outside, since it's so beautiful out.
"Macy, stop daydreaming and get your ass downstairs, now."  My father shouted to me as he walked past my room.

"Sorry, I'll be right down!"  He scares me, he always had.  I shut my window, turned off the radio, and rushed downstairs.

There was an array of breakfast foods and it smelled fantastic.  I just threw some scrambled eggs and French toast on my plate and dove in, hopefully today will be a good day.  My parents are finally letting me get my own guitar after months and months after begging and pleading with lessons as well. 

Music has always meant a lot to me, whether it be deep and lyrically captivating or frivolous and fun.  Ive always used it to express my thoughts and feelings into an audio masterpiece.

I want to sing, I've written my fair share of songs, I just have the worst stage fright and anxiety when it comes to the preforming aspect of it all.  It feels way worse and much more indescribable that just butterflies being trapped in my stomach, it's as though a jaguar is clawing inside of me.

"What are you waiting for, lets head to the music shop!"  My mother calls to me and I got a rush of excitement.  I can finally start my path as a musician.

Alex

I hear repetitive crashes on the door.  A glass bottle shatters and I can hear every piece hitting the concrete.  Dad's drunk again.  Every Saturday this happens, as soon as he enters the house he runs up to my room and screams.  Why the fuck would he get himself drunk at 11:00am anyways?!  Moms probably out somewhere selling herself for little money.  I don't know if i can take this anymore, I need to get out, not just temporarily but forever. 

Money is slim very though, both my mother's and my father's wallets are always empty, spending each cent they "earn" or steal on drugs.  It hasn't always been like this, but I doubt things will ever go back to how they were, which is a shame.

I got up from my bed, brushed my long knotted hair into a side braid, put on my oversized Led Zeppelin shirt, my brother's old leather jacket, an ancient pair of doc martens, and some ripped jeans. 

There I walk into the abandoned untouched room, grabbed the black guitar case that has been collecting dust for months, and decided to head out to Toni's to see how much it could be.  I'm desperate, but not as desperate as my mother.  Rayne would want me to survive and at this point the only food in the house is fucking pot brownies. I need to do this as much as it hurts.