Enhanced (first draft)

Chapter 3

After Soren comes back into the bedroom after we both have calmed down a little bit, Soren and I are silent for the rest of the night. It is actually kind of unsettling. He usually tells me that he loves me before he goes to bed, whether he means it or not. Tonight when he came back into the bedroom he just laid down beside me and turned towards the wall. I didn't say anything to him, as I did not want him to burst out into some sort of angry lecture about how I don't understand anything about this "wonderful" society.

I wait until I am sure that he is asleep. His breathing steadies until it is at a slow and even pace. I slowly get up, trying not to make too much noise. I look at Soren's peaceful face, such a contrast from earlier today. I almost regret what I am going to do, that is until I remember his treatment of me earlier. I am not sure if it will cause him any pain, but I have hope that it will. There is a small sliver of hope that he still truly cares about me. Maybe my leaving will help to change him back. If I ever do come back to see Soren he may apologize to me, maybe we could be happy again. I reject the thought, as I never want to return to the Inside ever again. 

I slowly tiptoe to the bathroom and change my clothes into warm, dark ones. I make sure to grab what little I need. Then I sneak out of the house, making sure to turn off all of the lights and slowly open and close the door. You can never be too careful. I especially cannot with Soren, because of what is at stake if I slip up.

I have no clue where to go, as I have never left my society, the Inside. Instead of going where somebody may see me, I head to the woods. It will give me shelter and keep me hidden as I try to figure out what to do.

I look back at my house and through the window see Soren lying peaceful alone. I had truly loved him at one point. I like to think that I still do, but he has changed so much. I just can not deal with him right now. I might return later, but then again I may not.

I decide to camp right near my house until day starts to come, because I do not know what I may encounter at night. Anyways, there is no way that Soren will find me out here even if I am close to the house.

I look through the woods, looking for a spot that is hidden in the brush enough to provide me some shelter. Once I find a place that is comfortable enough, I fall asleep, forgetting about the troubles that this day held.

~~~

I wake when it is still dark. I can barely see the outline of trees around me due to the graying sky. Soon it will get brighter and I will set out on my journey. I will just head to the Outside, a society that I have only heard of. It is said to be horrible, but I think that they only tell us that to convince us to stay in the Inside. 

I look through the window, and Soren is starting to wake. He turns to face where I was last night and rubs his eyes. He notices that I am not next to him, and he sits up. He must have called my name, but I did not reply.

I cannot see his face from this distance but I can only assume the expression on it. I don't know what he is feeling, though, whether it be fear or happiness or sorrow. Part of me hopes that he is happy, because it will justify my running away. The other part of me hopes that he is feeling fear and sorrow, because that means that he still cares about me. 

He gets up, probably to check all of the rooms. He soon comes back to the bedroom and puts his head in his hands. He looks like is was crying. I hate it whenever he cries, but it isn't usually often. The last time he cried was a year ago when his sister disappeared. She has not been found since then.

I can't help but think that he truly cares about me. He is just putting on an act that he doesn't care. He must be conflicted due to what has happened to him. Part of him still loves me, but the other part sees the opposition that I have to everything he now cares about and hates me. I truly feel bad for him. I want to step out from behind the trees and tell him that everything is going to be okay. That I am going to come back to him and we will be happy again. But this is what I have to do. I need to save my daughter. I need to get away from him once and for all, no matter how much pain it may cause both of us.

All of a sudden, Soren looks out of the window. His face is a mess of tears. He does not look beautiful for once. My heart jumps into my chest and I want to run away. He seems to be staring right at me. His eyes seem to be bearing into me. I can't tell if he sees me or not, but he keeps looking where I am, his eyes unmoving and gaze unblinking.

Finally, I start to slowly back away, just to see if Soren will try to stop me. He doesn't move anywhere, he just keeps staring towards me as I get deeper and deeper into the forest. If he sees me, I am certain that he will let me go and try to figure everything out.

I am once again totally alone in the woods. I cannot see any part of the Inside and it cannot see me. It is best this way.

I am practically lost in these woods. I have never been anywhere but the Inside before. I don't think that you are forbidden to leave it, but nobody really does. To do so would be to enter the "Outside". That is where the undesirables live. People are not Enhanced out there. Maybe I will fit in for once. Even though I am Enhanced, I feel that I have more of an Outcast mentality.

The only problem will be trying to find the Outside. I have no clue how my sense of direction is, and since I never travel anywhere, I do not think that I can trust it. I look all around me, trying to find some place to go. The path that I came from is marked from my shuffling in the grass. I can see the way that I came from clearly. That also means that others can see where I went. I have to be more careful from now on. I do not want to get caught, especially not by Soren or any of his friends.

I walk right from my path. If my memory is correct, I will be heading towards the entrance to the gate that encloses our town. I have no clue how far away it is, or if I'm even going in the right direction, but it's worth a shot.

My feet gently walk through the tall grass, trying to not mark a pathway. It makes me go a lot slower than I should be going, but I should have plenty of time. For some reason, I do not think that Soren will rush to save me. Even though he wants to change me, he will let me work out my problems before I come home. Maybe he thinks I will come to the same conclusion as him through my journey. That will not happen though.

There is life inside of me. It is depending on me to thrive. If I fail on my escape, my daughter's future will be drastically different. I need to get her to the Outside so she will be free of the ridiculous society I had to deal with. There will be no worrying about her appearance, no worry that she will not find a spouse. She will not just be thought of as a play-thing like me.

My heart races as I think about my daughter's future. I cannot wait for her to be born. She will be fatherless, but that is fine. I will be capable of raising her myself. She doesn't need a father anyway.

Maybe after she has grown up a little bit I will take her to Soren. There is no way that he can force her to become Enhanced then. He will just have to deal with it. I wonder what he will think of me if I return with an Outcast daughter. He may be furious, but maybe he will be accepting. After all, she is his blood.

Luckily, I won't have to deal with her meeting Soren for a while. She will not be born for eight more months and it will be many years before I take her back here to the Inside.

As I slowly walk through the woods, not really sure of where I am going, I start to hum. The humming comforts me, but I also imagine it comforting my daughter. She needs a new name. I can't have her named Aphrodite. It has to be something representative of this issue. It has to be something beautiful. Clarity. My daughter will be known as Clarity. She will bring clarity to my life.

I continue to hum, the whole time that I am walking, only stopping when I sit down to eat something. Finally I stop humming for good when I find a safe place to fall asleep. I set my bag down on the ground and uses it as a pillow. It is not easy for me to sleep out in the woods where everything is awake around me, but I finally do.