The Storms Of August

Chapter Sixteen: Somebody Said You Got A New Friend

It took Demi about three days to find out Joe and I were official. We, we being me, wanted to hide it for a little while. Personally, I wanted some calm before everyone jumped on us. It's weird for one of the most popular boys in school to date one of the least known people in the building. That, and Demi, who both of us knew would be a significant problem from the start. He wanted her to catch wind naturally, where she heard through peers or saw us in the hall. I knew from the start that wouldn't fly, not with her. I wanted to be the one to tell her. I wanted to sit her on the roof over a glass of moonlight or hang out after classes to tell her gently, like a parent does a young child with divorce. I know it's pointless, either way someone is getting hurt, but people have found this strange illusion that laying a crushing weight on someone's chest gently will somehow not collapse their sternum. There was something about the shadow in the night and the stars in her eyes that made me feel brave, safe on nights her skies were extra clear. I knew that given the right moment in time, when the itch in her skull bunkered down for the night, a bottle of chardonnay would lock in her dull roar when I told her. I wasn't expecting approval, or even neutrality, I was expecting outrage towards Joe and me alike. Her newfound hatred for Joe would certainly make his confrontation nothing short of a blizzard in comparison, but it would still rain on a day in August.

School had just ended on an overcast Thursday. It had rained for the majority of the school day, so as I walked out of the building I could still feel cool, crisp air injected with moisture into my lungs and smell the rain on the damp asphalt as I walked on with the Jonas brothers. I was wearing Joe's letterman jacket as we walked hand in hand down the sidewalk to the far end of the parking lot. Joe was keeping an extra casual pace, soaking in everything around him despite seeing it every day. Nick walked on my left, digging his fist in his jacket pockets for a lighter in prep for the cigarette calling to him like a lost love in the cup holder of the car. He was the one person I agreed to telling about the relationship. Nick's positivity and laid back persona was something I needed in my life. Everyone is so wound up all the time it's like living in a world with only Jack-In-The-Boxes to talk to. I've already done that for far too long. That, and the two boys are so close that trying to sneak around him would be pointless.

He changed when Joe and I started dating, and noticeably too. He came up too our lunch table on Tuesday with a chicken patty and a chocolate milk on a tiny tray with the lion's cowardice free from his movements. Nick loudly plopped his tray beside his brother with a smile and sighed as he sat down, waving to me and lightly punched his brother's arm with a laugh. Demi, who was there up until Nick's spark in personality exertion ended, looked up to the confident boy with a straight face. Upon meeting her gaze, Nick said "Hello, sour puss," and proceeded to take a manly bite out of his barbeque sauce covered sandwich. Demi then proceeded to grab her phone and her beg before leaving the cafeteria. I made a promise to myself to follow her to see where she wanders one of these days. After weeks of near silence and awkwardness that competed with mine, he was back like spring.

"Babe?" Joe said as he pulled me closer to him with a sly grin on his face.

"Yeah," I said.

"You alright? You're trapped in your own head or something."

"Yeah I'm fine," I said, smiling warmly at our feet, "You know me, I'm just thinking." It was true for the most part, but 'just' made it sound like much less than it was, which was exactly what I wanted the boys to believe. What I was actually thinking about would upset him and anger Nick. I had my mind on her, of course. My mind wanders off like a child, gets lost like a child, and gets found like a child. Every time, no matter where I start, I always end up thinking about her big, brown eyes and luscious lips when the sun hits her face just right or her honeycomb words and velvet voice when the sun doesn't hit her at all. Demi became the center of my unconscious attention and the pull of my most guilty attractions before and after Joe. Nothing is as tempting as temptation, and she was full of it. It was unfair to him, but it was out of my control. At the time, I was fretting over my withdrawals and the likelihood of her lack thereof. I was borderline shaking with anticipation of telling her all she missed and, most of all, of her absence. We hardly talked and I hadn't seen her shining face since the night at Joe's. We had not met in the darkness like star crossed lovers since that night either. I spend the last few nights on the roof with no one but the stars to talk to for the first time in awhile. I could have texted Joe, I presume, but I didn't want to stare at a screen. I wanted to feel the heat, the energy, the need with somebody, but all I felt was the chill in the air and the heaviness of my own breathes that I had no one to share with.