Detrimental

Episode 18

Drops of water hit me one at a time and then all at once. I feel my hands tremble and it takes a big effort to keep my hands attached to the metal bar. I try to look away from the horrendous sight of Niall's face on Kelly's breast but it was as though my body had been frozen in time and there was nothing else I could do but watch.

Do you know how it feels to rub your body against a pile of needles while squeezing lemon on it? This felt worse. Way. Worse. I was finally given control of my body when Niall spotted me. A sly grin marks his face and it made me angrier than I already was.

"Fuck. You. Little. Shit." I mutter as I travel back to my window. It rained harder and I almost slip on my way to the window. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. "Stupid Rae." I say as I climb back to my room. "Why did you think he was even interested in you?"

I curl up in the corner of the room and let what I had just witnessed sink in. Niall. And. Kelly. Kelly. And. Niall. Niall and Kelly. Niall and Kelly Horan. I take off my wet tank top and throw it at the edge of my bed.

"Why are you so angry?" Niall exclaims as he enters the room.

"I'm not angry." I glare at him.

"If this isn't angry, remind me to not do anything to get on yer bad side." he laughs. I unintentionally roll my eyes at him and he stops laughing.

"What the hell do you want?" I stand up and get a clean shirt from my closet.

"Ye said at the library that ye wanted to talk." he says as he sits on the bed. "I'm here, let's talk."

"I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now." I look at him in disgust. "Just leave."

"Is this about Kelly?" he snorts.

"No."

"You're jealous, aren't you?" he looks seductively at me.

"Why would I be?"

"Just admit it, Rachel."

"I don't give a damn about who you sleep with and for the millionth time it's not 'Rachel' you little fucker!" I shout at him. "Just go and never talk to me ever again." I fight the tears from flowing but they ignore my efforts.

"Rae," Niall pulls me into an embrace. I try to push him away but he was like a brick wall and I was like a mere ant. "I really like you."

"Why are you acting like a jerk then?" I stare into his eyes, looking for answers.

"What the hell are ye talking about?" he squints his eyes and looks at me with puzzled blue eyes. "I haven't done anything wrong, it's not like we're together or something."

"There you go again!" I snap at him. "Out of thousands of people in the university you choose to fuck my best friend!" I burst into tears. "You could've just fooled around with Ms. Ainsworth I would've been fine with that." I push him hard and he falls to the bed. "Fuck you!"

"I'd like that," he smirks as he looks at me from head to toe, as though undressing me with his eyes.

"Do you think this is a fucking joke?" I shake my head. "You just keep making our situation worse damn it."

"Have I told ye how much yer hatred and angst turns me on?"

"Can you just stop it with those unnecessary comments? I've had enough of your bullshit for one day and I'm sure you say that to both Kelly and Ms. Ainsworth and everyone else you've been sleeping with."

"You're right." Niall bites his lower lip. "But I only mean it when I'm talking to you."

"That doesn't make it any better," I laugh.

"What will?"

"Nothing." I sigh. "Just leave."

Niall gets up and storms out of the room. He makes his way to the common room and bangs the main door. After a few minutes, Kelly knocks on my door and I let her in. She looks at me with pleading eyes.

"I was so upset about the Liam thing," she says as she hugs me. "I guess we're even now." she laughs.

"I didn't know you were with Liam," I push her away. "I wouldn't do something like that to intentionally hurt you."

"It's not like you and Niall are together though,"

"Whatever, Kelly." I say as I leave the room and go over to Harry's. I need someone to talk to and aside from Kelly, I don't really have any other close friend. The closest is Harry. I may have just gotten to know him recently but I feel like I've known him forever.

I guess she was right though. I hate that she was. I know I have no right to get this mad over a guy who's not even mine but I am and I can't help but be mad. She's my best friend. She knows how I feel about Niall. She knows how much I fancied him ever since five years ago when Olivia Clarke showed us a video of him teaching Caspar Lee Irish traditional dances. "Fuck this day." I say as I knock at Harry's door.

"Hey." Niall opens the door. Fuck. I forgot he lived with Harry. "Wanna come in?"

"Is Harry there?"

"No but he said he'll be back soon."

"Oh yeah he must be still out with Louis. Anyway, just tell him I dropped by, yeah?" I turn to leave but Niall grabs my wrist.

"I'm sorry for being a rude arrogant narcissistic insensitive twat."

"You don't have to do that," I smile. "I wasn't myself today and you really don't owe me any explanation whatsoever."

"Drop the act,"

"There's nothing to drop."

"If you say so." he says as he looks at me with doubtful eyes.

I walk back home. Just a few meters away from the door, a hand grabs me from my back and puts a tissue with a weird odor on my face. I lose my consciousness and the last thing I remember was a familiar voice telling me the end was approaching soon.