Detrimental

Episode 40.5 - 420

420

(A Stella and Zayn short story)

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" I got a feeling I might have lit the very fuse

that you were trying not to light "

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It's the fact that we all have an expiration date that makes life full of thrill. I hate being such a cynic but that's just how I feel. Come on, wouldn't life be so boring if we were all immortal? Don't get me wrong, I have a pretty happy disposition in life. I just hate how I had to meet an amazing guy when I was already prepared to die alone. I didn't mean that in the "I'm forever alone" way. In a few months, I'm actually gonna die.

Only my dad knows I'm sick. Neither of my siblings know. I don't want them to act differently just because I'm sick. I actually like getting bullied by Tris and being the annoying older sister to Rae. I know it's not fair to them but this was what I wanted. I don't want my last moments here on earth spent at hospitals and having my family hurt for me. I'm lucky Dad understood that and respected what I wanted.

I glance at my planner and look at the doodles Zayn had incorporated into the day of the ninth. We'd be together for four months tomorrow. I remember the first time we met. Actually, I remember all my encounters with Zayn. Even until now, that we are already together, I still do. He never fails to make my heart tremble. With joy, excitement, and all of the above. He amazes me in every way. That's why I still haven't done what I should have in the first place... end things with him.

"Next next week," I mutter as I inhale the toxicity of the nearly finished joint. Yeah, he has a lot on his plate right now. Zayn's working as an intern for a famous art magazine. He's been really stressed lately.

"What's with next next week?" Tanya asks.

"Nothing." I smile. I get a sachet of dope from the inside pocket of my planner and hand it to Tanya. I put my planner back to my bag and take another drag.

"How much do I owe you again?"

"Kate has a weird policy. The first batch to a new costumer's always free."

"That teacher's really pretty psychotic, isn't she? And to think she teaches psychology," Tanya laughs as she takes a puff.

"Gotta go." I say as I see Zayn in his favourite black leather jacket walking across the street. I dash towards him and hug him from behind. It was only when he spoke that I realized this man was not Zayn. I apologize and run away in embarrassment.

My phone rings and I see a silly selfie of Zayn. God. This man is fine as hell. He looks pretty even when he's trying to look ugly.

"Guess what? I saw your doppelganger today. We made babies and I think I'm pregnant with triplets."

"Lol." Zayn giggles. I never thought I'd get used to his tendency of saying "lol" whenever I try to make a joke.

"Dork." I laugh. "But seriously, I mistook some old guy for you."

"Was he better at sex?" I hear his cocky tone over the phone.

"We just hugged. Don't know yet." I nod my head. "He does look like he's good in the sack."

"Of course he does, he looks like me."

"Go back to work," I command.

"Can't focus. I miss you."

"Miss you too."

 "Swing by my place tonight?"

"Call me when you're done."

"I'll be done in an hour."

"You me at six?"

"Lol."

"See ya."

"Laters, baby." Zayn says effortlessly in his deep, sexy voice. He used to say that just to annoy me because I hated the book Fifty Shades of Grey. Zayn's best friend's girlfriend was addicted to the book and so whenever we go out on a double date with them, Shahid would say "Laters, baby." a lot, even if they weren't gonna be apart anyway. Zayn thinks I still get annoyed when he says it but to be honest, I kinda like it when he's the one saying it. I'd like anything that comes out of his beautiful mouth. Zayn can say "poop" and it would make me horny.

I get a text from Rae. She asked me if I had plans for dinner. I guess so. I reply and put my phone back to my pocket. I pass by Alejandro's to order a box of pizza. Rae calls Zayn and I a weird couple cause we're both fond of pineapple on our pizza. She's the weird one. Hawaiian pizza is life. Way better than pepperoni.

"Sure," I imagine Rae reply with sarcasm.

I grab a cab going to Zayn's apartment and to my surprise, there was already a box of Alejandro's on the table. I guess this was our routine. Pizza and coke. Coke the drink, not the drug. We don't really go on fancy dates. I like it this way. It's more comfortable.

"Hey you." I smile.

"Great minds think alike." Zayn laughs as he takes the box from me and places it on top of the other white box. "You're just on time." He takes my hand and brings me to his working place. Like Christian Grey, Zayn has a red room too. But his is filled with art materials and photography stuff. I fell in love with an artist, what a good life. Zayn shows me his latest work. It was a sketch of me (with Zayn added tattoos) naked on a bed. It was really classy.

"I know I said I'd never get ink on my skin but those look so good on me,"

"I was planning on showing it to you tomorrow but I just felt like showing it to you immediately after I finished."

"I love it."

"You're my Juliet, Stel." He smiles that sweet smile of his and holds my hand. "Marry me." Zayn's eyes linger on mine as he takes out a box from the drawer beside the black bean bag. "I was gonna say that tomorrow after I bring you to Le Petite Chateux for dinner but I just can't help it. I'm in love with you and you're the last person I plan on falling in love with."

"Zayn,"

"As cheesy as it sounds, you're my soulmate, Stel."

"We should take a break." I bite my tongue.

"What's wrong, angel?"

"I need time alone."

"Did I scare you, love? Not now I meant like maybe next year after you graduate or maybe when we both have our shit together and we're ready to start a family." Zayn laughs. "Anytime you want actually. I'd take you to church right at this moment if you wanted to get married right now."

I can't do this to him. Nobody deserves to be trapped in a marriage with a dying woman, especially not someone as fragile as Zayn. "I can't marry you. Not now, not ever." I feel my heart beat fast and although I'm sure what I said hurt Zayn, I know I'm the one who is hurting more. I let go of his hand and walk away from the situation and the man I know I loved more than anything in this world. Nothing lasts forever. Like people, relationships have expiration dates. Our relationship was gonna end anyway. In a few months, the cancer's gonna take over me. Why make it harder for him?

"Stella!" Zayn calls out as I close the door. I continue walking and with each step I take, I convince myself that I was doing Zayn a favour. As I walk back home, I relive the memories we shared. I light up a joint and stay at my usual spot under the old deserted bridge.

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So many feels gah stella and zayn are relationship goals af im so sad

Okay so to clarify a few things yes, Stella's dealer is Kate Ainsworth (the slutty teacher) I don't think anyone noticed but in Episode 12 Stella said she was using Kate's phone so yeah I put that there as a foreshadowing that Stella knew Ms. Ainsworth but y'all didn't notice haha so yeah surprise guise

SO THIS REACHED 10K VOTES THIS MORNING I ACTUALLY CANT BELIEVE IT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING YOU ARE A BIG PART OF MY LIFE SORRY FOR THE SLOW UPDATES AFTER MARCH IM GONNA HAVE MORE FREE TIME SO YAY if you've been reading this story, you probably know by now that i am obsessed with plot twists and let me just say I HAVE A LOT MORE PLOT TWISTS IN LINE FOR THIS STORY LIKE LITERALLY SHIT HAS JUST BEGUN [insert super evil laugh]