Detrimental

Episode 15

I was quite a fast runner but somehow, my body wasn't emotionally prepared to run. I was still stuck at the couch with Louis. I was still stuck at how scared he looked at me. I was still stuck at what he said.

I reach the clinic but no one was around. It was winter break after all. I dial the emergency hotline and tell them about Louis' situation. They tell me they'll be here in a few minutes. "He'll be okay." I chant as I run back to my room.

I find Louis asleep on the couch. Harry wore a blank expression beside him and for a moment, I almost thought Harry wasn't that worried. But his sad green eyes give him away. I tell Harry that an ambulance is on its way. I then go down and wait outside the building and sit at the steps.

"He'll be okay." I repeat to myself. I try to think of good things to calm myself down but it wasn't working. "He'll be okay." I sigh.

What have I done? It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. Why did I have to bring up high school? It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. What if Louis was bullied as a child and I made him remember his traumatic past? It's my fault.

"Why did I have to be a nosy fucker?" I sigh.

"It's not your fault," Harry gives me a box of orange juice. "I'm sorry for yelling at you like that, I was just,"

"It's okay," I smile. "I would've yelled too if the roles were exchanged."

"You wouldn't." Harry ruffles my hair.

"Get back to Louis, I'll wait for the ambulance."

Harry's lying. It's my fucking fault. I know it. He knows it. God knows it.

I hear a group of lads pass by. It was some of the frat kids from the other day. They were with Niall. Speaking of Niall, I haven't seen or heard from him ever since he left that note.

"What's wrong?" Niall waves goodbye to the frat boys and sits beside me. "You look like a mess." he laughs.

"I don't know what I did," I feel my heart beat faster. "I don't know if he's gonna be okay." I look at him and my voice shakes.

"Who?" he says as he gently brings his warm hands to my cold ones. "Tell me what happened."

"It it it happened so fast I don't even know what happened I don't know what I did but I just know Louis' not okay and it's my fault." I pause to catch my breath. I wipe my tears with my hands and Niall tries to calm me down by rubbing my left ear with his right thumb.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's gonna be okay." he assures me as he brings my head to the comfort of his grey sweater.  

"You didn't see his face, Niall. He was in so much pain and agony and he couldn't even recognize who I was." I shake my head. "And he was having a seizure what if he--" I push the thought away.

"He won't." he says as he moves the stray strands of hair away from my face. "Louis' a strong man. He'll get through it."

"Promise?"

"Promise." he says as he draws an 'x' over his left chest. He starts singing some Irish folk songs and my mood lightens up.

"Niall?"

"Whut?"

"How did you know I watch your videos on YouTube?"

"Just a wild guess," He grins. "Are ye cold?" Niall takes off his sweater and puts it over me.

"But your shirt is so thin." I say as I touch his shirt, feeling his toned body as I do so. I fight the urge to take his shirt off. "You'll freeze, Niall." I try to hand him his sweater back but he tells me Bradford's weather is nothing compared to Mullingar's.

The ambulance arrives and they bring Louis out on a stretcher. Harry hastily follows Louis' body and sits at the left side of the vehicle. "Here," he says as he tosses the keys to his car to Niall. "It's just behind this building."

Niall and I follow the red blinking lights as we journey to the United Veterans Hospital. We don't talk along the way but it wasn't the disturbing kind of silence. Somehow, the Niall I met today reminded me of the Niall I fell for on the internet. I guess he wasn't as different from the YouTube persona I fell for as I assumed him to be.

We arrive at the hospital and we wait on the waiting room for five hours or so. The doctor tells us that he needs to talk to Louis' family first before revealing anything else aside form the fact that Louis was in a stable but unhealthy condition. Harry kept pleading the old man to tell him Louis' condition, repeatedly telling him that he's practically family to Louis, but his efforts yielded no result. Dr. Kleinshart said he felt for Harry but he was not one to break nor bend the rules. After the doctor leaves, I give a call to his office, pretending to be Louis' mum. He tells me that Louis would need some therapy and that he showed signs of mild manic-depressive behavior. "I advise that you try to reach out to Louis at this difficult time." I hung up after a while and Harry presses me for details.

"Just tell me,"

"It's nothing serious," I lie. Harry's had enough drama for a night. And to be honest, it felt like it was something Louis should be the one to tell him.

"Thank you for doing that, Rae." Harry smiles and his face starts to look healthy again.

"No problem." I swallow my guilt. It's true what they say. Ignorance really is bliss.

Harry ended up sleeping over at the hospital and Niall takes me back to the dorm. We sit at the steps once more and he embraces me to his lap. We stay in silence and I think of how much I had judged Niall for doing normal things college guys do. Sure, it's wrong for a student to have a sexual relationship with his teacher but who am I to get mad at him? I'm not his fucking girlfriend.

"Rae?"

"What?"

"We should probably get some sleep," he whispers. His face was just an inch from mine and I fight the urge to kiss his pink lips. "It's getting late and it will definitely get colder in a while."

"Niall?"

"Whut?"

"Thank you," I give him a light kiss on the cheek. I don't know how I was able to garner the courage to do so but I was thankful I did because Niall looked at me the way I always wished he could. We stay in the snow for a couple more minutes. Or a couple more hours. I don't really know. But what I do know is that it was the best minutes or hours of my life.