Detrimental

Episode 25

With every step I took, I felt my bones lighten and it felt as though I wasn't walking on solid ground but floating on mid-air. My head blurs and the only sure thing I know is that Niall's hand was tight around mine. We reach the top of the roof and we lean on the ledge. His eyes meet mine and we stay in still silence until he finally utters a few words. It was as though my ears had stopped hearing and I became completely unaware of what he was or wasn't saying. I study his face and it was filled with concern and sympathy.

"You don't have to tell me what demons you're dealing with...but I just want you to know I'm just here if ye want someone to listen,"

"Thank you," I smile. "I'm better now. I don't feel the need to cut anymore." I say as I look at the scars on my thighs. I started cutting when my mum died. I stopped when I met Liam. He hadn't always been a total jackass. Even after all he's done, he will always be a hero to me.

"That's good to hear." Niall says as he looks up at the starry sky.

 "Niall?"

"Whut?"

"I'm just curious on why you were at Kennedy's grandmother's birthday party."

"Kate...I mean Ms. Ainsworth...is Kennedy's aunt so it's her mother's birthday party and she asked me to come with her." Niall answers me. I shift uncomfortably at the mention of Ms. Ainsworth's name and he notices this. "She's really just a friend, Rae."

"You don't have to explain anything,"

"I want to explain everything." he whispers slowly as he caresses my face. 

"I've only had one serious relationship and it was terrible and chaotic." he sighs. "I'm not built for relationships, Rae. I'll just end up screwing things up and I'm afraid I'll do the same with us if we ever put things to the next level and I don't want that because I care so much about you."

"You won't screw it up," I say as I wrap my arms around him.

"What if I do?"

"Then you have my permission to," I whisper as I hug him tight.

"I have a confession to make," he giggles. I feel my muscles tense at his words and I brace myself for whatever he has to say. "You've been talking to me longer than you think,"

"Huh?"

"I set up this fan account on Twitter for myself to connect to the fans...I'm Lori, Rae."

"No fucking way," I remove my arms around Niall and sit at the floor. Lori was my Twitter best friend. She knew what happened with Liam and Kelly. She knew what happened to my mum. She knew my issues with my dad. She knew everything about me. Now here she is, standing in front of me. And she's a boy? She's Niall?

"Please tell me you were just kidding and just said a random name." I shake my head. "This is so embarrassing I can't look at you ever again. I'm gonna have to move away and delete my Twitter account."

"Don't do either of that," he laughs. "It's cute."

"It's not cute." I laugh nervously. "It's weird and creepy um we should go back down...it's starting to drizzle." I say as I avoid his eyes. I can't look at him without turning fifty shades of red.

"We should," he says as he approaches the door and I follow him. He pushes the door but it wouldn't open. "It looks like it's one of those doors that can only be opened from the inside." He spends a minute kicking the door but it wouldn't budge.

"What now?" he breathes heavily as he looks at me.

"Do you have your phone?"

"Harry took my phone." he sighs. "I was being a drunk mess," he shakes his head.

"I guess we'll be trapped here for a little while," I laugh. "I'm sorry,"

"Hey, it was my idea to come up here, ye have nothing to be sorry about." he says as he plants a soft kiss on my forehead. He takes off his jacket and wraps it around me.

"Thank you,"

"Rachel?" Niall looks at me and bites his lower lip. His voice was gentle yet electrifying. He looked at me with longing and I never felt this wanted ever before. "After we get out of this rooftop, and maybe after a few days after I fix myself to be worthy of you, will you maybe go out with me on a date?"

"I'd love that."