Detrimental

Episode 37

It's a short chapter but don't worry I promise to update it more regularly!

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The next five minutes happened in a blur. Time crept slowly but my emotions flowed like it was coming out of billions of invisible openings on my tiny body. I feel my heart beat faster and my hands produce nervous cold sweat.

"Are ya okay, mate?" a beanie wearing blondie in a Nirvana shirt asks as he lifts the left side of his gigantic headphones. His Australian accent was thick and it somehow calmed me down. After the Irish accent, the Australian accent was my second favourite.

"Yeah, just a bit thirsty." I say as I give him a friendly smile.

"Here." he says as he hands me his coke.

"Thanks, mate." I take the can from him and take a quick sip. I hand it back to him but he tells me to take the rest of it.

"Don't worry, I don't have anything contagious."

"I'm sure you don't." he says as he tries to hide his laughter.

He adjusts his headphones and closes his eyes as he leans against the window. I take a deep breath and enter the corners of my mind. "Plot twist: The mind is a sphere." The subconscious Tumblr addict in me shouts to my current emo persona but it fails to lessen the intensity in my personal bubble of air.

Do you know the feeling of knowing someone at a level you yourself are not certain is possible? That feeling of connecting to someone in more ways than imaginable was what I felt with Harry. We were kindred spirits. I saw the good side of myself in him. He was my safe haven. He made me feel as though no harm could ever reach me. Do you know the feeling of being completely and restlessly overtaken by riveting passion? That's how I felt for Niall. He was someone who brought fresh neon colors to my otherwise dull life. You must be thinking I'm some foolish shallow tween to fall for a famous YouTuber I basically met through my laptop screen. I'm not. I'm a foolish shallow teen.

I knew what I had to do.

I just was not sure it was what I really wanted to.

I decide to do it anyway.

I ask one of the flight attendants for a cup of jasmine tea and wait patiently on my seat for the boy I never thought I would ever have feelings for and the cup of tea that might break his heart. I did not know what scared me more, the impact of my decision to my friendship with Harry or the possible impact of my hesitation in making the decision to my relationship with Niall.