Latter Day Sinner

Chapter 14

For a few days after the incident, Frank had been terrified of what Gerard would be like. That sort of thing was definitely something that might set off his religion-based panic. While the younger boy fought the urge to visit the Priest, he also fended off anyone's questions about his strange behaviour.
The only person he actually told, of course, was Mia, who replied very eloquently with a shout of –

"you fucked a Priest?!"

To which, of course, Frank had to explain that he didn't fuck a Priest. He fingered a Priest. While Frank thought the distinction between the two acts was necessary to establish, Mia was too busy being astounded.

"But Frankie, Frankie. You're missing the point here. You've been inside a Priest. Inside his ass. You. Fucked. A Priest," she said, eyes widening.
Frank was immediately happy that they were in the privacy of her bedroom. He grabbed the bag of Doritos that lay between them, rolling his eyes as he chewed one.

"It really wasn't like that. And besides, he made us stop, remember. No getting lucky for me," he sighed, batting his eyelashes. Mia snorted.

"You know it's gonna happen again. You just gotta ease into it. Maybe go for some dry humping first, yknow? Blow him. I don't know," she said, waving a hand. "Whatever it is you do to penises,"

Frank chuckled, leaning back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I don't know, Mia. I don't...I'm not too sure that I want it to happen again,"

"What?"

"I just. I don't know. I don't want being around me to make him feel bad. I'm okay with just hanging out with him, y'know? I don't need sex,"

"But you do want to sleep with him?"

"Well, yes. Yeah. Of course I do. He's...wonderful. But I think things are better like this," he mumbled. Mia looked at him for a moment before sighing, shaking her head. She sat up, tugging her hair into a loose bun, before crossing her legs and glancing at him.

"Why don't you ask him what he wants? I mean – maybe he'll be okay with it. And at least if he says no, you'll know for sure," she said, taking a handful of Doritos from the bag. She shrugged a little flippantly, delicately sliding each chip into her mouth, one by one. Frank pressed his lips together and nodded slowly. She did have a point. As painful as it might be to take the rejection, he knew he had to at least try to clear the air. If he didn't, their friendship could be at stake, and Frank didn't know if he could handle that.
Actually – for that matter, he knew he couldn't. As strange as it was to admit to himself, even now, he'd become very attached to the older man. He didn't want to have a life without him. Not now. Not when they'd grown so close.

"I hate it when you're right," Frank breathed.
Mia just replied with a smug little smile, before sliding another chip into her mouth.

Frank knew that, since he and Gerard were becoming more 'official', he had to be more careful. He only spent two evenings a week with the Priest, and invested far more time into his friends. That, for the most part, warded off their questions. And while Frank did miss Gerard terribly on those days (even if he'd never admit it out loud), it was really refreshing to reconnect with his friends. He'd forgotten how much fun he could have, sitting in a supermarket car park and smoking cheap blunts, yet still somehow getting so high, he swore he could see the universe in the pavement. His fingers split and grew calloused from guitar playing, his stomach aching from masturbating too often. So when he did visit Gerard on Wednesday evening, he was filled with ailments and sickness, and Gerard was the antidote. He'd breathe him in and let him fill his blood stream, sweeping away the drug-addled haze and the tightened muscles from orgasmic contraction. His eyes focused, his fingers still aching, but growing soft against Gerard's lips. Seeing Gerard was "hi baby", and "guess what I saw today." He'd sit next to him, maybe rest his head in his lap while the thin, spindly fingers caressed his hair. He'd kiss him unapologetically, but excuse himself to the bathroom if he thought he was going too far. They were everything they could have been just then, and it was enough and not enough. Gerard called him 'my darling', and Frank called him 'baby'. Gerard would sometimes whisper 'you're my little snuggle bear', and Frank might call him his 'sweet baby boy'; but that was only with the lights out, where neither could see each other speak.

For a couple weeks, that's all they were. Shadows blending into the dark, whispering longing wishes into each other's cavernous ears.
Until that one Wednesday.

"What's going on here?" Gerard asked. He was resting with both legs on Frank's lap, while the younger boy gently rubbed along his thigh. Frank, not expecting the interruption, looked up in vague surprise.

"I'm...reading?" he said, waving the book in his hand. Gerard laughed, giving him a fond smile.

"No. I mean. Y'know. What's happening with you and I, hm?" he asked gently, playing absently with Frank's fingers. Frank looked surprised – though maybe not as surprised as he should have.

"Priests can't date," Frank pointed out, setting his book on the coffee table. If this conversation was happening, Frank wanted to give it his entire concentration.
Gerard smiled and leaned back, shrugging non-committedly.

"We can. You know that," he corrected.

"You can. You just can't fuck. And I actually think dating a dude is automatically vetoed." Frank pointed out, delicately kissing Gerard's fingers. Gerard laughed at that, shifting to move a little closer to Frank.

"Are you mad? That I can't fuck?" he asked softly.
"I know I messed it up last time." The combination of his despondent tone and his dejected expression made Frank's heart squeeze.

"Hey, none of that. I'm not mad, Gee, I promise. I wouldn't have wanted to do it if you weren't 100% certain it was what you wanted," he paused and grinned,
"Besides. I got to see what you look like when you're horny. So that's...good enough for me," he cooed teasingly. His heart thrummed when Gerard blushed, grunting as he shoved Frank a little.

"You're so awful to me. Here I am, pouring my heart out to you, and you're being mean," he sighed dramatically. Frank giggled and shifted so the older man was in his lap. Gerard was significantly larger than Frank, so was heavy, but the younger boy didn't mind too much.

"I wanna date the shit outta you," Frank beamed. Gerard blushed and hesitated for a moment before nodding very slowly.

"I'd like you to date me," he murmured. He tilted his head. "You'd be okay with having a boyfriend –ah, - twice your age? And you couldn't tell anyone. Plus, I mean, I ca-

He was cut off by Frank's mouth pressing insistently against his own. Gerard let out a little surprised squeal, but soon kissed back, his lips turning up into a soft smile. He relaxed, a hand moving to gently cup the back of Frank's head.

When they pulled away, Frank's eyes were wide and alight with excitement.

"So...so this is a thing? You and me?" he asked brightly. That was what sold it to Gerard. The excitement bursting in his eyes, the broad grin across his cheeks. Frank wanted this. And God, Gerard wanted it too. He could reconcile the guilt later – he was tired of pretending.

"Yeah. Yeah, we're a thing. Uh. Boyfriends," he beamed. Frank took both his hands, his eyes glittering.

"This is so fucking..."

"Good?"

"Punk." Frank answered. Gerard snorted and rolled his eyes, pulling back a little.

"It's not punk if you call it punk. Punk," he beamed. Frank flipped him the finger, but curled into his body, pressing his face to his chest.

"Y'know what's real punk?" Frank asked, beaming.

"mm?"

"Fucking Priests," Frank answered succinctly. Gerard leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of Frank's head.

"interesting concept. I'll get back to you on that,"

"you're a tease," Frank whined. Gerard giggled, grabbing a blanket and wrapping it around them both, burrito-ing them together, so every inch of Frank was pressed against Gerard. He definitely didn't mind.

"I'm not a tease. I'm not allowed to do things on certain moral grounds, but don't abstain from conversing with you about it in a seductive manner that suggests intent,"

"So...teasing," Frank said, clearly pouting. Gerard leaned forward and kissed him gently on the mouth.

"I'm sorry, boyfriend," he grinned.
And really, how was Frank meant to stay mad at that?