Why Me?

Chapter 6

ZOEY'S POV

We reached the house and as we did, Nick's face dropped.
He looked quite taken aback and lost for words, and his face showed pure confusion.
I ignored it, and was focusing more on his curly brownish hair that was fangirl-worthy, *evil smirk* , and his dreamy brown eyes.
I think we need a fire extinguisher cause he's on fire. I'm bad at this, k bye.
BUT DID YOU SEE HIS BICEPS THO? I'M CRYING

I catch myself smiling foolishly as he looked at the house, still in shock.
" Okay, see ya in an hour?" I broke the awkward silence, and caught Nick's attention.
" Ye-yeah, I'll pick you up at 8!"
" Great, see ya!" I say as I got out of the car and made my way through Lauren's beautiful garden.

I've always envied Lauren's home, it was Tumblr AF and everything was always so organized, which makes me feel like a mess every time I visit her.
The garden was huge, with lots of roses and bushes, making it feel as if I'm in a story, if that makes sense somehow?
I'm now talking to myself, great.
Anyways, I knocked on the door, with a bouqet of flowers in a hand and a box of chocolates in the other.

"MA LOVELY ZOEY!" Lauren shrieked, causing me to giggle as I put the flowers and chocolates aside and embraced her in a warm hug.
" I've missed you! How are you feeling??" I asked, as I put my hands on her forehead to make sure she's okay.
" Much better, I have to mention that staying away from school for a few days is quite fun. At least I don't get to see all the perverts!" She says all in one breath, and gives a sigh of relief.
" I know right, they're too much to handle to be honest"

But Nick hangs with them, he's a part of this 'squad'.
Don't. He's different, or at least, I hope so.

" School's been hell without you tho, my lovely monkey" I remarked, as I pinched Lauren's arm and walked away proudly.
I have a thing for pinching arms, I dunno, I guess I'm THIS weird.

"Watching Netflix everyday was absolutely amaz- I mean, boring, without you, my lovely panda." Lauren added, as she sticked her tongue out at me while I glared at her.
Yes, she's a monkey. Yes, I'm a panda. Period.

"Shut up!!" I spoke, while I watched Lauren sit up on her bed.
"So, how's everything going?"

A really​ hot boy hid in my backyard which ended up with me falling in love with him and flirting together for the last few days.
No, she'll probably think I'm a freak.
Put it nicely, Zoey.

"I may or may not stumbled across a really cute boy, without​ you." I mentioned.
" YOU DID NOT! TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT" Lauren said excitedly, making me almost fall on the floor.
" Well, um, he, we met in the library, yeah, and we became close ever since. Pretty cliché.
"
" Mhmm, so you met in the library. Just that?" Lauren asked, raising an eyebrow.

Why did I lie? Well, Lauren is a mom, not literally. She's responsible and strict, she follows the rules. And if she knew I met Nick the way we did, she'd probably chop my ass off.
* whispers: she's crazy, she might do it.*

"Yes, Nick's cute I promise."
"Okaaay, I wanna meet him"
See? She's a mom.
" Sure, just stop being sick!!" I shouted.
" As if it's an option, bruh" She replied.
~~~~~~~
We spent hours and hours just gossiping and talking about life. I tried my hardest to avoid Nick's topic, and I succeed, yay.
It was 7:50 now, and I expected Nick to show up at any moment.
" I'll use the bathroom and come back"
" Fine, hurry!"
" I will!" And as I said these words, I heard my phone beep and I quickly picked it up.
" I'm downstairs. Hurry up, I have something to do at home." Nick mouthed, looking a bit irritated.
" Okay sure! In a minute." I said and hung up.
" Laur I have to go! Nick's in a hurry. Bye, love you" I stated, as I dashed down the stairs.
~~~~~~~
" Hey" I got in the car, to see a really annoyed Nick sitting, avoiding my gaze.
" Yeah, hi" Nick said, still not looking at me.
" What's up? You look irritated." I asked, with worry and concern.
" School stress."
" Good luck boo, if you want to talk you know where to find me, in my room, probably reading some Wattpad fanfictions about Harry Styles" I replied, flipping my hair and looking out of the window dramatically to make him laugh.

But he didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Nick avoided me, it was two hours after he picked me up, and we didn't even have a complete conversation.
I lay in my bed, with nothing but my crazy thoughts filling my brain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

They always leave.
They always shut me out.
They always ignore me.

Why? Why me? Why am I always the one with the sad ending? Why am I always left out? Why does my heart always get broken? Why can't I fall in love or be happy at least?

Because no boy will ever have the ability to put up with your insecurities and bullshit.

Because boys will never like someone like you.
They will never like the boring nerd who didn't have her first kiss yet at the age of sixteen.
This only happens in books, you little nerd.

That's why I stayed away from boys. Boys are assholes, they will break your heart no matter what.
I spent the last few years trying my hardest to avoid boys, and I succeeded. But then this stupid Nick comes and destroys all the walls I built, and here I am, the miserable old me is here.

I can't stop the tears from trickling down my cheeks, and the pain in my chest makes it harder for me to breathe.

Why me?
My mind got nothing but this stupid question moving through it in circles.

Why me?
My head aches and I can do nothing about it.

Why me?
My eyes are blurred and my vision is slowly fading.

Why me?
I cry, and cry, and cry.

I deserve it.

~~~~~~~
N:B:

AWHHHH ZOEY DEFINITELY DOESN'T DESERVE IT!!!
I feel bad for making her this miserable, but it's part of the story so yasss ;)
This chapter was sad but I hope it made Zoey's insecurities more clear and for you guys to get to know her better.

AND ALSO THE QUESTION "WHY ME?" WAS REPEATED FOR MULTIPLE TIMES IN THIRTEEN REASONS WHY AND I WAS SO EXCITED SO IT'S THE COVER FOR THIS CHAPTER EEEKKK

I have no idea why I'm shouting.

Anyways, have an awesome day with lots of chocolates and unicorns and basically everything that makes you happy!
Yaass for positive vibes!😇🦄

All the love, Miro xx