"And...cut!" The director exclaimed "Good job everyone!" He clapped his hands and walked towards Zen with a dazzling smile. Pulling his arm around the white haired boy, he squeezed his body against his in a half hug. "You've been fantastic today! If you keep working like this, I'm sure you'll get even more roles in the future"
Zen just nodded and farewelled with a smile. He was used to hearing the director's encouraging words all the time. He was grateful for this and really appreciated it, but today it was that time of the year where he wasn't in a really good mood.
Putting on his black leather jacket, he was about to step outside when someone tapped on his shoulder.
"You are leaving?" His co-worker inquired with surprise. They used to go out for a drink every Friday after work.
"I'm feeling rather tired today" Zen excused while simpering.
His colleague just shrugged. He didn't question the motives behind his sudden departure and that was a pleasant relief to the white haired man.
"Careful with the blizzard" Zen heard him say while walking away.
~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~
His co-worker was right. As soon as he set a foot outside, he had to fight against the falling snow and slashing wind to reach the motorcycle parked next to the building.
Zen tighten his mushy jacket feeling the cold penetraiting through his sleeves. With this weather it was impossible to ride the vehicle unless he was willing to risk his life...which was clearly not an option.
Oh well. Couldn't be helped. Zen walked down the street to the nearest bar. He decided to wait for the weather to settle.
Ordering a beer, he sat next to the window and looked outside. The blizzard held him captive in the familiar rustic bar he usually visited to relax and have fun...how ironic it was that on this occasion he didn't feel at home at all.
It was that time of the year where Zen's memories flowed like a tumultuous river. Unable to stop them, unable to ignore them. He sipped the foaming beer while letting them take over his mind.
~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~
Four years ago his life changed forever. The most daring decision he could have ever made was also a bittersweet memory. That was the turning point in his life.
He remembered how he stumbled outside the door, his mother crying, his father yelling behind and the judging look on his brother's eyes.
The blizzard falling while he ran aimlessly through the city. The feeling of his fingers going numb, his tearless eyes and the pain on his muscles because of the effort. He couldn't care less about all that, he just stepped harder, with anger into the ground letting his legs lead the way.
Out of breath he was about to pass out of exhaustion. Zen stopped and looked up at the sky while panting. "Is that what you've got planned for me God?!" He shouted madly. The snowflakes sticking to his clothes and face.
The realization hit him like a tsunami making Zen break into a hysterical laughing. He was finally free...finally free to be the person he always wanted to be...but why did he feel so lonely? Oh man, never had he ever felt as drowning as he was in that moment.
~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~¤~~~~~
Giving a last zip to the beer, Zen placed the empty glass on the table. Now, looking back, he didn't regret leaving his home. Thanks to that he was able to pursue his dream without the ties that bound him to the ground.
He was truly grateful to have met people who encouraged him along the way...he didn't have to walk this path alone, not anymore; and even though as painful as it was that time, Zen gathered the power to move on because in the end, the difficult road led to a beautiful destination.
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