Perfect (bxb)

Perfect *3*

Colton Haynes as Jordan Strauss *-* I think that he looks like a Jordan. Look at this face and tell m, that you wouldn't call him Jordan, if you didn't know his real name! It's IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

Yours truly, author-chan ;D

What happened the last chapter...

"Don't worry, Kyle, we won't pressure you into spilling your secret. But don't keep it all bottled up until you can't handle it anymore on your own. What are friends for after all?" Mira assures me. I don't want to think about what I'd do without my friends. I can rely on them and I don't want it any other way.

Currently...

"I'm home!", I exclaim as I open the door of my home. Before I get to do anything like slipping my shoes of or stepping over the door step, my mother already rambles:

"Hey, Kyle! Sorry, I didn't have the time to prepare lunch, but I guess, you are perfectly capable of making it yourself, aren't you? I'm in a hurry, so could you please wash the blue laundry? Thank you! Bye, Kyle! Your father won't be home till 11 pm. Enjoy your freedom!" She rushes out the door while I'm still standing there. I didn't even have time to speak or move.

Sometimes my mother isn't even at home, when I come home, but I guess, that's fine though. She has to work for the money, we need, after all. She doesn't have time for me or my brother, but that's fine, too. She's a busy woman and I have to accept that. I don't want to burden her with my selfish wish for her to spend time with me, Dean and my father. It's fine..., I guess. I shouldn't be greedy; I can't have everything in life and that's fine. It's just the way it is.

Everything is just dandy the way it is. I have no reason to complain, right? Others have it way worse. I don't have the right to feel sad or depressed, if there are others, who are more in need of help than I am. I should just appreciate what I have like everyone expects me to. That's the place where I belong. Then why can't I feel anything else than numb in my everyday life? I can't say that I enjoy the way I live, but I can't exactly say that I hate it either. It's just what it is. I can't seem to get myself to feel anything particular when thinking about me, my family or school. Anyways... back to business! 

My father is a doctor. He is busy, too. Well, that shouldn't surprise anyone. He doesn't have regular working hours, which is the reason why I don't know, when he's home and my mother has to tell me. When she's not at home, she leaves a note for me. He was my idol, when I was younger, but now I don't want to be like him anymore. He tries so hard to blend in with the others, it's frustrating. He doesn't accept himself, his true self. It's a cowardly thing to do. I want to be different, but every now and then I act the same. 

For example I don't want to accept my obvious attraction towards Jake and try to make me believe that I still like only girls and I'm crazy to think, I could possibly have even the slightest of crushes on Jake, because that is what is expected from me. It's what society makes me believe is the only right thing to be and I don't want to accept that, but although I don't want to, I just can't seem to break through this shallow facade, which I built to blend in and be accepted. I'm afraid that it slowly becomes me. It's a scary thought to lose your own identity, but what if society has the power to do that? I should probably just ignore it like everyone else; it's the common thing to do. It's childish to brush a problem at hand aside though and I know that.

I take off my jacket and shoes before walking into the kitchen. "DEAN! You home? Wanna eat something with me?", I shout towards the stairs. Not long after Dean comes rumbling down the stairs and tripping over the last step, kissing the ground. Do I have to mention that he's incredibly clumsy and an idiot? Because he is. He quickly gets up and smiles at me as if he's saying: 'That wasn't me. I don't know what you just saw, but definitely not me falling down the stairs. I'm not that dumb, hahahaha. What are you accusing me of?'