Rescue Me || Jeamus

4. Falling Asleep On a Stranger.

"Well, you know I'm a ghost. Pull the note out of my throat and leave me alone. But it's all for you, all for you and more. He won't take her anymore, to the end, never leave. Fall asleep on the first I face. And they say play the game.
You and me found ,love, lost under the shade"

---

Snow covered the streets of Denver, and no one expect for James was stupid enough to go outside in it, especially at the time of day it was. Hardly even noon, and the last thing you would expect to see anyone sitting alone in a cemetery at this time. But James could never leave his love behind, and he was just checking up on Seamus like he did every single day. 

The shock had just begun to fade, and years of trying to get better had finally paid off, because he started to have a positive outlook on things. Seamus wasn't suffering and he was finally happy, and that was something that James had always wanted. 

And so he smiles as the snow forming around his ankles taints his skin blue and the nostalgia and the memories of Seamus before he was diagnosed came rushing down upon him and he smiled to himself. James was sad and happy, both at the same time, and he wasn't really sure how that could actually be. 

---

"James, James are you in here?" Aleks called into the seemingly empty home that used to belong to a couple. This home used to have a happy man with dark eyes and dark hair and tan skin, and a normally bubbly attitude, who was always smiling when his was with his other half. And it used to belong to a short little man as well, with long blond hair and the brightest of blue eyes. 

This couple was supposed to grow old together, until a bitch named Cancer split them up.

And now the house belongs to one shell of a man. He, too, had dark hair and dark eyes and tan skin, but he is never smiling when he's in this puterfying home and his bubbly attitude has turned into something darker, and much worse. 

Aleks was only here to drop by something that one of their remaining fans wanted to send to him, packaged in a box and wrapped with a bow on top. He'd picked it up and felt the need to bring it to his friend, only to find that his house was filled with the same emptiness as James' eyes held. And so he dropped the box off on the counter, since this man never remembered to lock the door anymore, he waited for him to come home from visiting his other half at the cemetery.

He'd stopped midway out the door when he heard water pounding against the shower wall and an unmistakeable groan at the other end of the house. So cautiously, the Russian man sashayed towards the sound. Tapping on the door, he could the feel the heat burning through it, and opening it, a cloud of steam whipped against his cheeks.

"Fuck!" He's stumbled back and as the fog cleared, then tried to find his friend who must have been burning alive in the homemade sauna. 

"James, what the hell do you think you're doing?" 

"I'm done, Aleks. I want Seamus back."

Aleks knew that James was one to shower fully clothed at times because it cleared his mind and made him forget about all the tragedies that the damned disease brought to he and the Creatures. So in this time of need, he reluctantly pulled the bigger man into his arms. 

"We all miss him, but you can fry yourself alive like this," 

"Just get away from me, asshole!" He snapped, shoving Aleks' soft touch away from his shoulder. He raised his voice so that it echoed off the walls and the pressure that sunk into the pores of his skin made the situation vital. "I don't want to see you!" 

"Please, just listen to me!" He didn't bother to turn away, knowing he had teary eyes. But the look he was given was filled with hate as Wilson leaned his head against the shower wall, wet clothes still clinging tightly against his body. He couldn't tell if he was crying since the fading steam made anything hard to see, but he could feel the tone in his voice. 

This was not the man he used to know.

"I said, get the fuck away from me!" 

This time, the younger boy took a few solid steps back whilst raising his hands defensively. "Don't do this, I beg you, please!" He was scared to look at him in the eye, but he knew the thought that had to be going through the back of his mind. This has all been building up for weeks, and he never went down to the grave as often. There was nothing he could do about this. 

But he wasn't about to watch his friend kill himself. 

"Listen, I know how tough it is-"

"Tough? You wouldn't know tough if it was standing directly in front of your face! I've been listening to you for years, and I'm sick of it and I'm sick of being lonely!" Both men were crying now, and all Aleks wanted to do was to tell him everything would be alright, but sadly it doesn't seem to be so easy with this one.

James continued.

"Jordan and his bloody cat-obsession, Dan and his Batman, I never even hear from Nick or Steven anymore," he pauses to catch his breath in the room, although the smoke was now clearing and his face was flushed, he was pale, and he hadn't seemed to be taking care of himself whatsoever. 

"Eddie's lost it, and all Kevin ever talks about is you! And all you ever talk about is Kevin, so why don't you and him just leave to be happy together. Don't give a fuck if he lives in another state, because guess what, Aleksandr? My boyfriend is fucking dead!"

His voice was shaking and cracking at each sentenced he muttered, meanwhile Aleks couldn't stop the blush from tinting his cheeks. Rubbing his arm, he blocked the door as James pushed past him. 

"Seamus didn't want this, he wanted you to move on, and he's moved on and think of how much better off he must be without worrying about that damn cancer." 

"Stop, Aleks, just stop. I don't want to hear it, you understand?"

"He's happy," He continued to urge on and James was breaking down into tears. It's a hreat-wrenching sight, though he needed to hear this coming from someone other than himself.

Both men's chests heaved and breathing irregular. They'd embraced in a hug, and now James finally had something other than the lonely gravestone. And the embrace almost, almost, felt like Seamus was still here. It almost reminded him of the hugs they once shared, and he finally let out a stiff sob, placing his face into Aleks' shoulder. And they were suddenly holding hands, and to Aleks, it felt like he had Kevin with him and things weren't so lonely anymore. 

James was first to break the bond.

"Just give this to the other guys, but don't read it until you leave, okay?" He reached into his back pocket to reveal a soaked letter , crumpled into oblivion. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put you through what I did. But promise me you won't be so sad anymore."

Aleks raised a brow, about to question the remark when James parted his lips to speak again.

"And I'll see you in your dreams." Then he shoved Aleks out the front door.