Unnecessarily Complicated

"Finally, after all these years, I have invented a machine that can change the world!" Dr. Oddcare wickedly announced. "Well, my world at least." He added, before maniacally laughing. Hugo, the four-foot doctor's henchman, came to his side, ready to hear of his boss' new diabolical and most probably flawed plan.

"Good, you're here. I shall begin my evil rant." The doctor started.

With the press of a button, two curtains parted and Oddcare's newly designed piece of technology was revealed.

"I present to you, dear Hugo. The Onesie-machine! This device can produce a onesie in seconds. And with that produced onesie, we will be able to carry out my latest scheme." Dr. Oddcare paused for dramatic effect, "We will use the onesie-machine to create two onesies, one for me, and one for you. And with these cute and lovable one-piece pajamas, we will trick people with our adorableness, fool them into thinking we are nice beings. And when they least expect it, we will shoot spitballs at them, and ruin their happy day. Muahahahahaha!"

"Dr. Oddcare, may I ask why we're doing this? I don't quite see the point." Hugo questioned, scratching his head.

"Of course you don't you buffoon. I remember it as if it were just yesterday..."

It was a nice, sunny day in the park. I was having a relaxing day, scaring pigeons, jumping on flowers, the usual villainous stuff, when a little girl holding a lollipop walked by. "Stealing candy from children, this is going to be fun." I had said to myself. I advanced to the child. "Give me that lollipop." I had demanded in a menacing voice. The adult with the child patted me on the head, before saying, "Aww, such a cutie."

"Then they left, they left me broken hearted and empty, I wasn't able to spoil that little girl's day. And monstrously, they said I was a 'cutie'," the doctor flinched at the sound of the word, "They defied my behest. Such atrocity shall not remain unavenged. That Hugo, that is the reason why."

There was a minute of silence.

"Boss, that was yesterday." Hugo said, after the doctor's extravagant outburst.

"Of course it was yesterday. Why did you think I said I remembered it like it was yesterday? You're such an idiot sometimes." Dr. Oddcare berated.

Hugo shrugged in response, he was just a lowly henchman.

"Go get the spitballs ready Hugo, we're wrecking people's day today. We shall deceive them with our endearing pajamas. That'll teach them to think twice before calling me 'cute'." He declared.

The duo, dressed in onesies, grabbed a few straws, and a few pieces of paper, and off they went to carry out their utterly horrible (one could interpret the use of the word 'horrible' in both ways) plan.

Armed with their spitballs, Dr. Oddcare and Hugo barged through the park, spitting spitballs left, right and center.

"Look at the expressions on their face Hugo! Look! See the fear in their eyes as they realized they've been fooled by our adorableness." The doctor laughed.

"Boss, I'm pretty sure those are looks of annoyance."

"What a blithering idiot you are henchman, those are obviously looks of-"

Dr. Oddcare could not finish his sentence, as he was interrupted by an old man with a mustache boinking him on the head with a walking cane.

"Meddling kids. Got nothing better to do with ya life, have ya? Kids these days, just gotta hate them." The man scolded them(and rightfully so).

Dr. Oddcare was shocked.

"Did he just call us kids? Kids?" Dr. Oddcare, screamed in pure outrage, "For your information, old man, I have a doctorate! It might have been bought online for nine dollars but it's a doctorate nonetheless!"

"Sir, let's just go." Hugo pleaded, not wanting the doctor to cause a scene.

"I will sue you for being so disrespectful, you, you old person!" the doctor shouted at what was the air, the old man with the mustache had soon left the vicinity after yelling at the two people in animal-like pajamas.

Hugo sighed, and had to drag the doctor back to his evil lair.

"How did our plan fail? It was foolproof!" the doctor angrily shouted, throwing a random object towards a wall.

"In all honesty sir, your plan had quite a few defects." Hugo remarked.

"Shut up henchman, I wasn't asking you," lambasted the doctor, "Put the machine up on eBay, sell it for a hundred dollars or something. I don't want to see it again. And get rid of these despicable onesies." Dr. Oddcare ordered as he stomped to his room.

"But sir!" Hugo objected, wanting to suggest they could mass produce onesies and sell them piece by piece with the machine.

"Just keep quiet Hugo!" the doctor yelled.

"If he says so." Hugo sighed, then he walked over to the computer and went on eBay.

Thanks for reading!

-Sirah :)