the secret us ; a.i

eleven: on-repeat

andrea.

Oh it's you I know, you're the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above,
Oh I lose control, can't seem to get enough,
When I wake from dream, tell me is it really love,

How will I know if you really love me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you what you know about these things

i sat down at the middle of an empty road at midnight.

seeking for answers.

seeking for him.

i just don't know. does he really want me to suffer this long?

grabbing my phone, i stood up and ran as far as i could. until i can see darkness. until i collapsed at the forest.

i woke up with a bad feeling. i was in a different room, in a different bed.

"how are you, babe?"

it was calum.

"cal.." i hugged him for dear life. like i depended unto him.

"ashton again, isn't it?"

i nodded and tears were falling into my eyes.

"why can't you two just talk it out? i mean it's the best way after all."

i didn't listen and instead drifted myself to sleep once again.

he tried convincing me once more but i just shrugged him off.

i'm just so tired of crying. i just can't take everything anymore. ashton is stabbing me more and more each day.

when will this stop?

i just wished my heart never responded when i was five.

i just wish..

---

ouchie.

song: how will i know ; sam smith