Angel with a shotgun (Larry Stylinson) ON HOLD

Chapter 37

 Harry's P.O.V.

  He is so pale. His face is faded of colors except for the dark bags under his eyes. I can clearly see he is not feeling any good. He look so sick but I won't be a coward and tell him that, of course not. It would be pointless.

He and I have been up and awake since very early thing morning and none of us closed an eye ever since. We are both worn out but we don't dare saying it. I try to feel strong but my insides are screaming in pain and desperation for a break of emotions. But I have to be strong. Not only for my own health but for him. I honestly just wants to hide in my bed and cry every tears of my body till there's nothing left. 

He looks so small and fragile here on that hospital bed. It breaks my heart to see the person I love so sick and in bad point. Louis is usually so loud and ready to laugh of joke around but not today. It's the opposite. He haven't moved from my embrace since he woke up from passing out after the did tests on him. 

The doctor said Louis is in a type of shock but it will go away eventually. Those fuckers don't seem to care about it. It seem a normal and current thing to see someone in shock like this. He is not fucking moving. Not an inch! His crystal blue eyes are glued on the white wall and only blinks from time to time but nothing else is moving. Not even a finger. Absolutely nothing. I took him in my arms, trying to bring him back to reality but it didn't work. That didn't stop me form keeping him in my arms though. He feels like a doll you can move around and manipulate as you'd like. It's becoming a little scary.

  When the ambulance arrived at my apartment, I have to admit I was in shock as well but I am alright now. I was scared when my beautiful, precious Louis was laying lifeless - what I thought - in my lap. I-I thought he was dead. The paramedics assured me that his heart was beating and I was back to life immediately. I, of course, climbed in the ambulance along, I wans't letting my boyfriend alone in there, hell no. It took a little bit of arguing before they agreed to let me in but I won. 

Arrived at the hospital, they quickly rolled him off to a room where I was not allowed to go in so I sat on the cold tiled floor who must be dirty, dressed in not buttoned jeans and a dark hoodie. I was in a rush when I got dressed and  you don't have time to loose when your lover's life might be in danger.

After an hour or so, a nurse came in the waiting room and called my name. She told me that Louis was stable and I could go and visit him. He was not awake yet but should be soon. I gasped when i first saw him, laying in the white bed. My heart pinched as I pulled my hand over my mouth. Seeing him in that bed was hard. It made me think of all the times he was in this situation but I was not there when he woke up. All those time he was here and needed me but I was not there. I felt so bad for not being there that I promise myself to never leave his room. Not even for a second of a quickie to the bathroom because you don't know when he will wake up and I want to be there with him.

She also told me to buzz the button once he wake up but that was the worst thing I ever did because a doctor entered in the small room, a clipboard in his hands. He sat on the chair beside Louis's bed, leaving me to awkwardly stand at the foot of the bed. The grey haired doctor looked at my tired looking boyfriend and said the words I was not ready to hear..

Louis's P.O.V.

  The doctor's voice is ringing constantly in my head as if you've hit the repeat button and broke it. It won't stop. I am rocking myself back and forth on the white hospital bed as Harry's strong arms are secured around my smaller frame, holding me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear but I wasn't listening to them. My brain was stuck on the doctor's words. ''I'm sorry Mr Tomlinson but your leukemia is back..'' 

It's past three in the morning and I still haven't called my mother yet. This news will break her. Not only emotionally but financially. Her and Mark haven't climbed up the slop yet. We still suffer from he job loss and even planned moving house soon. Harry and I have talked about it and he suggest I could move in with him but I'm scared. I don't want to leave my mum alone with my sister and Mark. It's not that I don't trust him, not at all, but because I know she'll need help taking care for my sisters. She can do it alone while cleaning the house, cooking and going to work. 

''Is he gonna be okay?'' asked my boyfriend's worried voice as he pet my hair. 

''Yes. Mr Tomlinson is in.. shock at the moment but-'' started the doctor.

''No. I mean, it's leukemia. Will he get trough it?'' he asked, his voice cracking at the end. 

No! Please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry, it kills me. Hell, making you cry. 

''We can't tell yet, I'm sorry. Leukemia and cancers are complex when it come to healing. From what I can read in Mr Tomlinson's files, he's been trough a couple chemotherapy treatments and was currently in remission but a as I said before, those illness are vicious. Even when you think you killed all the bad cells, there is always one hidden,'' explained the man. 

''I understand.. I-Is he gonna die?'' 

''I can't reply for the moment. It all depends on the patient's health and how well he react to the treatments. Now if you may excuse me, I have an surgery to attend in fifteen minutes, a nurse will come in a few minutes to check on him,'' said the doctor before leaving the room, leaving Harry and I alone. 

   I haven't said a word since we arrive here. It's starting to drive Harry crazy but I just don't know what to say. I cna't tell him that I am okay because I am not. I can't tell him everything's gonna be alright because I don't know. I wish I could tell him I'm not gonna die and that everything will be find in the end but we're not in a Disney movie. People die in real life. I might be one of those people..

''Shouldn't we call your mum? I bet she'd like to know you are here, to inform her of your.. situation,'' said Harry searching for his phone in his jeans pocked but curse when he notice it was not there. He must've left it at the apartment when he called the ambulance.

Situation? It is not a situation, I wanted to say but I can't find my voice nor the strength to open my mouth. It is not a situation.This happened before. It came back once, the doctor never said I was completely free of the illness. It can come back any time in my life. It can be in two months or years or never, we can't know.   Cancer are not predictable if so, not much people would die because of it. 

''Louis, please talk to me,'' he continued, plunging his face in my neck, making his voice barely earable. ''It kills me to see you like this. I want to talk about it but you won't talk,'' he continued. 

This man is trying to kill me. Seeing him so sad and broken and even sounding like so makes me feel really bad. It's my fault he is like that. It's all my fault that he is so sad and broken but I can't do anything about it..

He keeps asking be a billion questions since I woke up. Are you cold? Does it hurt somewhere? Are you thirsty? Do you need anything? And on and on. I'm not mad at him though. My mother did the same thing when I first learn I was ill and got really mad about it but it's different. My mum is not Harry. Harry Styles - aka the best boyfriend ever - is the most caring and selfless person I know, he just worry and wants to take care of me. My mum on the other side was just doing what a parent have to do. They are forced to care about their children but Harry is not. He do it because he wants to. He is so perfect. 

  It was starting to get dark outside. Harry and I haven't move from our positions. He didn't left the hospital bed, not once. He is still holding me tightly in his arms as if he was trying to hide me from all the bad things and protect me. The nurses gave me a tray of food but I didn't touch any of it. I wasn't hungry. Who have the heart to eat when they just got told an heartbreaking news? Not me. 

''Can I talk to you for a second, Mr Styles?'' asked the grayish doctor as he entered in the room, pointing to the door. 

Harry nod as the old man walked out of the room but as he was about to get up, I stopped him.

''Don't leave me, Harry,'' I whimpered into his chest, soaking his hoodie with my tears but he didn't seem to mind, he just held me tighter against him and I if I saw right, I think I even saw him tear up a little. 

''I won't, Darling. I promised you,'' he replied, kissing my forehead. 

A/N Sorry, it was shorter that I thought it would but you got Harry's P.O.V so I dare you to complain!! What did you think of this chapter? Did you saw it coming? I left some clues in the past chapters, it was predictable if you read well and paid attention. Don't forget to vote and leave comments down below.