Me, Arthur! (And Some Other Unimportant People)

Merlin is Appalled with the Current State of His Life (and Everyone)

This was life or death.  This was a true tribulation.  This was... sugar or salt.  

"Agghhhhh!" Merlin screeched and nearly tore his hair out (but totally didn't because he had spent a ridiculous amount of time straightening it today).  Why does everyone have to keep playing tricks on me?  They simply couldn't understand.  Yes, his metallic silver hair dye was necessary for his survival.  Yes, all his robes looked the same, but that didn't mean you could mess with one.  Yes, he was 1,257 years old, but that didn't mean he looked like a geezer--or was one for that matter.  You can't just tear off the labels on sugar and salt and expect me to be ok!  How can I possibly make butterscotch cookies this way?  Merlin was aware that cookies didn't help his figure, but that definitely didn't stop him from eating them.

He heard footsteps down the hall.  Loud, clunky footsteps.  That could only mean one thing: someone was here to disturb him, and he knew exactly who it was.

"Merlin?  Merlin, you're in here, right?"  He recognized the voice.  It was exactly who he thought it was.

"Yes, Percival, I'm in here.  Can you close the door, the light is blinding," he sighed exasperatedly. 

"Oh, what is it this time?  You're only this grumpy when you think you've been wronged or you're up before noon.  Both of these things appear to be true right no so I can't imagine you're very happy," he paused and glanced at Merlin, squinting, "I can't tell if you didn't have time to do your hair today or if it just looks bad like it normally does."

That was it.  No one insults my hair.  Merlin turned the glow on his wand up to max brightness and swiftly turned around, waving it directly in front of Percival's gray eyes.  Gosh, I haven't moved this fast in decades.

"IS IT BRIGHT ENOUGH FOR YOU NOW, PERCIVAL?  IS IT?" Percival glared at him and knocked his wand out of his hand,  only to have the wand languidly fly right back to Merlin.  He smirked.  I set that up myself.  

"My god, sometimes you act like a three-year-old," Percival exclaimed.   He pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers and looked woefully into Merlin's eyes (or where he assumed his eyes were, it was kind of hard to see in the dark).  "And your hair looks like it was popular with ladies 500 years ago.  No one thinks that metallic silver is a cool hair color except you Merlin, and no one wears their hair down to their thighs."

Merlin pursed his lips and dropped his wand into his robe pocket.  He didn't actually need it to do magic, but he thought it looked cool enough to take around with him. He placed the salt and sugar bowls he was holding in one hand onto the counter and his shoulders sagged.  He slid down the wall into a sitting position.

"Well, no one is as good at magic as me, either.  Seriously, why are we even friends?  You should respect things above you, not admonish them."

Percival sat down across from him and jokingly smiled, knowing Merlin was only kidding.  He hoped.  

"You really need to conjure up some of those weird coffee beans and grind them into your tea.  You always look happier after that," his smiled vanished after he spoke.  "But, in all seriousness, there's a reason I'm here.  The King's called a meeting of his advisors."

Merlin drew back and bit his lip in surprise.

"What for?"