My Old Man & My Pyjamas.

My Old Man & My Pj's

A 1 part story. Contains frequent Australian slang, dictionary/definitions are in next chapter.

But most importantly Laugh and Enjoy!

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The Sun came shining down through my curtains blinding me with its rays. I groan with frustration as of not being able to draw the blinds close without hopping up to stop the light from coming in. Picking up my pillow I put it over my head to stop the sunlight. I lie there trying to go back to sleep, but couldn't from the lumps in my bed. The old thing was a 'gift' from my Grandma and it looked as if it had been in World War II. As for the rest of the room, the wardrobe looked like it was from the 80's and my bedside table and lamp from the medieval era. It was a rubbish house but it did its job. I would replace it in a heartbeat if I was able to. I fumbled for my phone, reaching it I had a look at the time and it read 7:45am. It's truth! Only 15 minutes before school was in.

My Mum was crook in bed and my old man said she would have to take a sickie. I bet that we'll be having some snags on the barbie for brekkie. That was the only decent feed dad was capable of dishin up, apart from a cuppa. I got distracted by my phone buzzing off the hook from my bestie Kylie telling me all about her latest crush, and who she had pashed over the weekend. I was texting her back when I heard my name being called.

He was a big bloke Dad, I was still texting Kylie when my door flew open and there he was, as cranky as a brown snake waking up from hibernation. He sprung me, and he said, "I'm flat out today, you're not listening to me, so get up, no spitting the dummy you're going to school as is." It took me a few seconds to comprehend what he just said and then very slowly I turned to face him, wearing my tweety birds pj's and no make-up and all and whispered, "You wouldn't dare," he replied, just watch me." 

A few minutes later he had ducked-taped me to the crappy old blue ute seat pjs and all. I was starting to get nervous and fidgety. He crunched the old girl into gear and we were off to school. This was going to be more embarrassing than Auntie Rose pickin me up from hockey practice giving me a big smackin kiss right on the lips with her cheap red lipstick. I was spewin.

I grabbed some B.O killer out of my locker and gave myself a poomy shower, my matching Tweety slippers scuffing the floor. This is the worst day of my ENTIRE life. I could hear everyone laughing and sneering at me behind my back.

I bailed out of school and jumped into Dad's muddy ute as soon as the bell rang, slamming the door. he smiled at me with a gob full of food, "I'm not giving you an ear bashing, just a lifelong lesson, that you may never live down. All of this just to find out who Kylie hooked up with last night, was it worth it?"

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Thanks for Reading!

If you're Australian I'm pretty sure you would be cranking up right now, Feeling sorry for any foreigner that read this, it would be so bloody confusing!

If there are words that you didn't understand and they are not on the next page. Comment the paragraph/word and I'll give you an explanation. 

Test your friends, see if they got any better.

Should I go into the story a bit more? Give you more description?

Rest assure NONE of my other books is like this.

And I'm pretty sure Wattpad hasn't seen anything like this!

Love ya all

loveHeartReader

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