Grayson Smith | ✔️

Chapter Fifteen. I want you, only you.

Edited.

Song for this chapter: Willamette Stone-Heart Like Yours.( If I stay!! one of my my most favorite movies)

I had no clue what me and Grayson were. We were never out on a date so it's not like we're dating but at the same time I don't think we're 'just friends'. What friends kiss each other? 

I needed answers.

Did I want to be with Grayson? Of course I did, anyone would be dumb not to want to. He made me see all the light when I was surrounded by darkness, just a touch of his gentle hands made my cold heart warm again. I didn't just want him or crave for his contagious laugh and bright smile. 

I needed him.

All these thoughts and questions were running through my head last night which resulted in me only getting about three hours of broken sleep. I knew I would regret that. After me and Grayson's embrace just yesterday evening, he dropped me home as we listened to 'teenage dirtbag' on the radio. 

That's all that happened, we kissed.

He didn't ask me out like I hoped for, he drove off. Which is partially my fault since I didn't really invite him inside because I knew Gabriela would be home and possibly my-Elizabeth.

I couldn't show him that not only was I a little fucked up, but so was my 'family'. I just wanted him to think there was something good about my life. At a point in my life, my life wasn't good, it was perfect. 

But everything changed once my Dad passed, life would never be the same for me and I had to pick up the broken pieces and try to make it all seem okay but the cracks would always be seen.

I had just got back inside from dropping off Gabriela and was sitting down on my fabric couch that was actually really comfy, dated but comfortable. It's weird how one day it could be such a horrible day, rain, thunderstorms, lightning, the whole thing but the next it would be the hottest day you've ever felt. The sun blasting through the pastel blue sky making the pavement burn to the touch. 

The weather always reminded me that there will be days when you feel like nothing will ever get better, that the darkness of the world is pulling you in to where you feel nothing will ever be the same, you will never smile-really, or laugh again. But then the next day will be completely different, it will be filled with genuine laughs and smiles and you'll be the happiest you've ever been.

I didn't know why I didn't start walking by now, Jackson just left meaning I should be leaving any second. I guess I was clinging on to the hope that Grayson would pick me up like he had done just yesterday. It wasn't like I was too lazy to walk to school, I really didn't mind. It was beautiful out and I could do with a natural tan. But I just wanted to see Grayson, I had so many questions to ask him. The main one was and would always be, What are we?

I thought I heard wrong when I heard a beep outside my house. It's probably for the neighbors or something. But then not a few seconds later there was a knock on my door. I didn't glance out my window to see who it was, instead I just opened the door.

When I opened the door, the heat off the sun hit my bare arms and legs. I had to squint my eyes from nearly getting blinded y the bright rays. I didn't even need to look to know who it was, just his heavenly scent would tell me a mile away. 

It was Grayson.

He was giving me 2009 Zac Efron vibes from 17 again, he had on a plain white t-shirt, denim jeans and black ray bans situated on his perfectly sculpted face. Any other guy would look like Donald Trump compared to him. Looking up at his face he had on a cocky smirk. I didn't even try hide the fact that I was checking him out.