Grayson Smith | ✔️

Chapter Twenty. Black Holes and Prince Charming.

Edited. 

Song for this chapter: Beyonce-Runnin'.

You know that feeling you get when you feel like your drowning in your nightmares, you don't know how to swim and there's no lifeguards to save you from your inevitable death? Yeah, that was how I was feeling right now.

But I wasn't drowning in water but drowning in my very own thoughts, Jackson's words knocking into me like a sledgehammer with no remorse. I was in a black hole and I didn't know how to escape. I tried to scream, yell for help, but I couldn't. My lips were sewn shut against my own will and there was nothing I could do to fight it.

I could hear voices, they seemed so close yet so far to reach. I ran as fast as I could until I could start to see light, I ran and I ran.

I shot my eyes open,gasping for breath as I began taking in my surroundings. My heart felt as if it were beating ninety miles per minute. I was in Jackson's bedroom, Grayson and Jackson at the end of the bed, Jackson pacing back and fourth running his long ass fingers through his hair while Grayson sat down on a gaming chair, his hand in a fist. He was looking down at his hands with a look that brought me so much pain before he looked up and his eyes met mine.

''You're awake'' Grayson exclaimed, a worried smile on his face, worry lines clear on his forehead. He walked closer towards me and rubbed his hand up and down my back.

''Are you okay, Lib?'' He asked soothingly, putting some stray hair away from my eyes and placing it gently behind my ear.

Jackson was looking between the both of us with a worrisome glance, but I could tell in his eyes he was glad Grayson was here with me. Like me, Jackson also didn't know what to do in situations like this. I think we both panic and lose all of our words, it's even worse when people cry in front of us. We don't know what to do besides pat their shoulder like a dog and say 'there, there'.

I gave him a small smile and slowly nodded my head. I rubbed my temple that felt as if it were lit on fire, trying to remember any of my memories I lost so many years ago. I tried so hard, I closed my eyes tightly and remembered all of Jackson's words hoping they would spark something in my brain and all my lost memories would come back to me in a flash.

But my life wasn't a movie and they never came back, not even one. Not one month of memories, or week, a day, an hour, a minute or even a second. I got nothing, my mind was void of any memories just like they were before passing out.

It was useless trying any longer, I was glad I now knew why I could no longer remember Blake but I wish I could at least get a glance of what we once were. A glance at who I once was before my life turned upside down and spiraled into a pit of doom. I lost a part of myself that could never return but I hope I could try work around that and build up me and Blake's friendship again if he wanted to. I'm ready to face up to everything and accept that a part of me isn't here anymore, and i'm not the same person I once was.

''I told him everything'' Jackson nervously admitted, it was weird seeing Jackson like this, nervous and fidgety. He was always the type to put on a 'bad boy' front not showing his emotions to anyone. He was the type of person who was the prankster of the school, always getting detention, expelled etc etc but like his amazing sister *cough cough* me, he still kept his grades up.

''Everything?'' I repeated, I didn't care if he had told Grayson everything. I trusted Grayson with my life so I knew he would be understanding with all of this and I would have told him myself anyways. I couldn't keep something like that a secret from him, and I wouldn't want to either.

I never kept anything from Grayson besides the fact that Elizabeth was a raging alcoholic but other than that everything was out in the open and that's the way I liked it. I gave him all of my trust and I knew I wouldn't ever regret it. Grayson was the only one who knew besides Jackson and I, but I knew he wouldn't tell a soul.