gone man » alex standall

•twenty-four•

She pulls into the short driveway. I remember the last time it was like this, when she noticed dad left.
Her face completely dropped, it was almost scary.

But that was back then, maybe she's changed now?
I can't tell, she barely looks at me.

   The figure of my mother slides herself of out the car, as do I.
   I sigh, looking up into my window. The blue drapes still closed. Oh.

   I slid the curtains closed and turned around slowly. Eyeing the pain killers filled in an innocent white bottle, I back away. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.

I trip onto the ground, not paying attention, but yet again lost in my thoughts and memories, not good ones. My knee hits first, then my hands. I groan, only making my mom turn around and sigh.

"You okay?" She asks.

Yup, totally, you never cared before. Honestly? Only me attempting suicide got you to notice me after all these years. Wow.

"Never better." I brush off the gravel and dirt that now stain my dark grey hooded sweatshirt.
I stand back up, my hand clenched into a fist. My phone buzzes in my pocket, but I don't want to look.
It's most likely people from school, Tony did say that everyone found out and was talking about it.

The front door creaks open while my mom walks inside, me following behind her.
I walk up the steps to my room, but I stop in front of the almost-closed door.

(HAvEnT YoU PeoplE eVer HeArd Of CloSing ThE GoDdamN dOoR NO <sorry I had to lol)

Raising my hand up to the door, my breathing slows down at a rapid rate. I huff in the air quickly and push open the door and toss my bag on the floor.
My mind starts to race when I see the pills scattered across my desk, along with a pool of dried blood.
I cringe at the sight, but it was my decision to do it.
Glancing at my bandaged up arm, I try to turn away from the mess of everything, but I can't.

(o shit I actually am proud of this chapter)