gone man » alex standall

•forty-nine•

(This book is probably only going to 50-55 chapters but ily guys 🖤)

Alex's POV-

   This is it.

   The day we graduate.

   That's it.

   School's over.

   Well, until college that is. Then I'm screwed because I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with my life.
   I should probably figure that out.

   We were supposed to wear gowns, obviously. I feel so uncomfortable in it and having many people there watching everyone else graduate will not help my anxiety. At all.
   I sit in the car next to my mom. My fingers twirl around the ending of the gown, my hands shaking slightly with each movement.

"Let's go in." She says, turning off the car completely, then getting out of the car. My mom closes the door behind her, silence filling the car, leaving me with my own thoughts.
   You may think it's not possible. To 'hear silence'. Oh, boy, let me tell you. Silence is very loud and it destroys all of my happy thoughts. It's the thing that keeps me up at night, making me stay awake until 3 o'clock in the morning. Silence is shit.

   After thinking for a moment, I finally make my way out of the car, brushing away a fly-away tear which I have no idea why it's there.
   Please, oh please, just let me have one night, one night without wanting to die and disappear completely or embarrassing the hell out of myself. That's not fun at all.
   I'm graduating for crying out loud. The beginning of the rest of my life is right here, right now. This is going to be fun.

   I sit in a cold hard chair, behind Justin. Abby, being across the aisle since she's a girl, making weird faces over at me, making me laugh.
   The principal begins to call names, then in which, we have to get out of our chairs then receive a diploma from him. That means I have to walk up in front of everyone without falling on my face. That'll be hard, considering how clumsy I am. Oops.

"Alexander Standall."

I remain in my chair frozen.

"Alex. Standall." She repeats. Justin turns around, waving his hand in my face.

"Yo, Standall." He snaps his fingers as I walk over to the principal.
I feel many eyes on me. I start to feel very lightheaded.