Random Complain 2

Where have 'I' gone?

Where have 'I' gone?

Ever since I was little, I was the dominant cousin. Being the only child, I depended on my cousin for company. My cousin was an only child too and she was older than me by two months. However, she was a shy one back then and I was the outspoken one. I was full of positivity, despite the suicidal thoughts from the age of five. Yes. I wanted to die at the age of five. I wondered how would it feel to die. I thought of ways to kill myself and I attempted one at the age of eight after a heated fight with my mum where she said she regretted giving birth to me. Even then, my negativity wasn't that bad. It increased after puberty. Like I said. I was the dominant outspoken one. An angel resided in me. Then I grew and I was possessed​ by the demon. The demon is residing in me now. I never dared to self harm but I tried it at 9. It hurt. I didn't like it. I resolted to biting myself instead. It's easier to escape with.

Do you see the drastic change in me? I used to be happier and innocent. Innocent to the pains in the world.  I grew to be this. Outburst issues. Breakdowns.  Negativity. Etc.

I saw a picture the other day showing the symptoms of depression. I fulfilled 4/6 of it.

I have depression

Where have 'I' gone?