Stumbling Into Perfection...

Chapter 9

Harry had been staring at the screen of his computer for the last three hours. He'd typed the word "alcoholism" into Google and had been immersed ever since. Harry wasn't an idiot, he knew what alcoholism was he'd just never really been touched by it personally. He'd been engrossed in reading first hand accounts from people recovering, their family members, friends, co-workers all detailing how it affected their lives.

The last week of wallowing in misery had been fun, but he was over it now. He didn't know what was going to happen when Jennifer returned. He didn't know how their relationship would work out or if they would even have one. But he was determined not to be part of the problem and after reading some of these stories, it was clear she wasn't the only one who had work to do.

Harry never wanted to fix Jennifer. He didn't see her as broken. He wanted to support her, be there when she stumbled, help her through the dark moments. And he wanted to do that without attributing every emotion she had back to her alcoholism. She needed to be able to be angry and upset without everyone around her freaking out that she'd hit the bottle because of it.

He found several Al-Anon meetings that looked promising. He made sure to search the agnostic meetings since he was pretty positive Jennifer didn't subscribe to any religion. He had sent off emails to the organizers explaining his situation and asking if it was possible for him to Skype into meetings. So far no responses, but he was hopeful things would turn out.

He heard a knock at his door and he glanced up. He ignored it. He wasn't in the mood to listen to anyone and he was busy anyway. The knock came again a few moments later. Harry frowned as he stood up to answer it.

He pulled the door open to see Liam on the other side,

"Hey, Mate." He quipped, "Headed downstairs for some food, wanted to see if you wanted to join us."

Harry shook his head,

"I already ate."

Liam's smile faded slowly. Harry's mood had deteriorated quite a bit since Jennifer's departure. Where he was generally happy most of the time before he was annoyed, short and sad now,

"Ya sure? There's no fans downstairs and the restaurant is supposed to be four star."

Harry nodded,

"I'm sure. Thanks."

When Harry went to close the door, Liam put his hand in the way,

"Harry..." He warned.

Harry sighed but didn't turn around to look at him,

"Liam, I don't wann-"

"You can't just cut yourself off like this. It isn't healthy."

Harry sighed,

"I'm not cutting myself off. I'm-" He stopped, not sure how to verbalize what he was doing. He realized he was putting a lot of effort into something he wasn't sure the other party involved was down for. He turned to look at Liam, "I miss her."

Liam nodded,

"I know you do, but there are other people around you who miss her too. We should all be here for each other."

Harry glanced back at his computer. Liam was right. If he hoped to support Jennifer then he needed to be the same person he was when she left. She didn't need to come back and feel responsible for some mood he'd sank into.

"Ok." He said softly as he turned around.

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Dinner was uneventful but fun. The hotel had closed off a room for the boys and their crew members to use. Liam had parked himself between Holly and Harry, seemingly deciding it was his job to make sure both of them at least cracked a partial smile. Neither of whom seemed to want to cooperate.