yes growing up alone was very tough, never really had time to spend time with my mom. We were not close at all.. there were times where I found myself hating her.. I would sometimes ask myself
"does she even loves me? Does she even have a clue on what I'm going through right now?.."
the only way I still work this through was by listening to music. Music was my savior. The only thing that kept me going. It described every single of my feelings and thoughts. Like it spoke for me because I was too broken to talk..
I would always listen to music whenever I felt lonely, which was basically all the time. I would go to school and would also feel like I was invisible.
Felt alone,ugly, broken .. everything I felt was negative ..
when at home I also felt like a mess.. unwanted.. where I would always be compared to my cousin on how beautiful she is.. wearing makeup, nice clothes,and had a good body..
while me. Was totally the opposite..
I don't have a good body.. I am not beautiful.. and did not wore nice clothes.. where everything I wore was like representing my heart.. all dark, black. The only color of clothes I would wear.. but then again that's how my life is... a life of darkness where everything is dark where colors don't exist
As if they weren't made for me..
but all I knew I wasn't meant to be happy
