TheCrew AU/Oneshots

He Knew (2)

It was hard, seeing Shadow dressed up in the most elegant suit he'd ever seen, walking down the isle towards his handsome, sunshine groom. Speedy had always been so beautiful, never had Sidearms seen such amazing brown eyes in his life, or the way his smile would brighten up the whole room.

Speedy was perfect, and that was the worst thing about him. Sidearms hated Speedy. He hated him because no one could be so beautiful and yet still have a pure red beating heart. No one could be so kind, so loving, so forgiving, so intelligent. God, did he hate him. But he had so much respect for him, he looked up to him, and asked for advice all the time.

Hell, he'd have married Speedy if Shadow wasn't the one who grabbed his heart strings, and tied them into a knot. If it weren't for Shadow's piercing green eyes, and the way the corners of his mouth would turn up into a small, yet noticeable smirk.

If it weren't for all his snarky comments, and insults that had no bad intentions behind them; or even the way he'd constantly hide himself away in large hoodies, and hats to block out the cold. The moment they met, Sidearms fell head over heels for Shadow, but he wasn't the only one of course.

Maybe if Speedy had gotten to Side before Shadow, things could have ended differently. Perhaps Sidearms would've been the one that laid with both men, secretly; with a lover, and the other a dreamer. Or Sidearms could've been the fool who thought too little about his lover's whereabouts, trusting that he was faithful.

And in all, he was. Maybe Shadow didn't love him, maybe Shadow just pitied him because he knew that he was unreachable, because he knew that his heart belonged to another. Or maybe he was taking this the wrong way. Maybe Shadow loved him, but didn't wanna leave Speedy heart broken, and hung up on the thought that he wasn't enough. But if that were true, the little meet ups they had wouldn't have stopped.

Ultimately, Shadow was a great man. Speedy deserved him. And as he watched Shadow take Speedy's hand, and place the ring that would bond the two together forever, he couldn't help but choke on the painful tears he hadn't known were struggling to come up.

He tried not to weep as the two kissed, signaling they were forever. He tried to hide his face from his friends that cheered as they started to walk down the isle, hand in hand, newly placed rings along with.

He tried to ignore the sorrowful, and concerned green eyes that he craved. Tried to pretend that he was okay, that his heart was still repairable.

And even as they were cutting the cake, Sidearms couldn't help but smile brokenly at the two. They were made for each other... not for him. He just had to sit back and let it happen.

Why had he been so selfish?

Why was he so selfish.

When things traveled to the dance floor, he couldn't handle it anymore. He let the tears come down as he made his way to the bathroom, covering his mouth so pathetic cries he let out weren't as loud as they would've been. But someone had beaten him. His sobs had paused to listen to cries of someone else, a familiar voice actually.

It was G18. Actually, he had barley seen G18 this whole time now that he thought about it. During the whole wedding, he'd only spotted G18 a couple of times around everyone else, but held constantly sneak off.

He hadn't thought much of it, and now he was even more confused. "G..?" Side asked, trying to sound as if he hadn't been crying.

G18's head snapped up instantly to see Side, standing near the door way with the same red puffy eyes. What happened? "Why..why are you crying?" G18 asked lightly, his small hiccups making it a little more difficult to get the words out.

He was shaking lightly, not even trying to pretend he wasn't bawling his eyes out a second ago. "Uh," Side began, but he knew that he shouldn't make up an excuse. He's known G18 for some time now, he trusted him.

"I loved someone so much, and I knew they weren't made for me... but I still wanted to try. I pretended that it was meant to be, but now," the tears were resurfacing.

"Now it's over, and he's married. Now I'll never see my happy ending, or see myself with his arms around me when I'm sad. See him smile when I laugh, or bring him to my parents house for approval! I won't get any of that, because he doesn't love me! He never did," Sidearms sobbed in his hands, his body shaking roughly.

Just great, he was acting like a complete child in front of G18. And he half expected G to walk out, or accuse him of being selfish, but what he hadn't expected was to be embraced roughly. G18 clung to him and rubbed his back, both men trying into each other. "I-I know how you feel," G18 started, huffing through sobs to try and cool himself down.

"I'm in love with Speedy, and I had been for the longest time. But I was too scared. I was scared of being rejected, of him being disgusted by me. And because of that fear, I lost my chance. I lost it all," He said shakily.

"Oh my god," Sidearms whispered lightly, how could he have not seen it? It all made sense. How could he be so stupid? "Oh G," he began, gently pulling back.

He rested a hand on his cheek, and made the teary eyed dirty blonde look at him. "I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner, I was too caught up in Shadow. I would've helped you, I could've-" Sidearms sighed. He just rested his forehead against G18's. Both trying to grasp onto what they couldn't have, but also trying to find a way out of the hole they dug.

Together, as the two perfect newlyweds danced under the stars, two heart broken fools tried to gather their shards, and rebuild again. Maybe, just maybe, Sidearms knew that he wouldn't be unhappy forever.