Say You Won't Let Go ~ Phan Songfic

We danced the night away

We danced the night away, we drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up
Then you smiled over your shoulder
For a minute, I was stone cold sober
I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me to stay over
I said, I already told ya
I think that you should get some rest

~~

"Why would I want to go?"

"Come on Phil, this isn't like you, you haven't missed a single one of my parties," PJ pleaded with me, the desperation leaked into his tone. He was almost begging and he knew me well enough to know the pleading was working.

"I just think a pre-pre Christmas party is stupid," I grumbled, trying to give any excuse. I heard him sigh on the other side of the line as we both knew that was a lie. If anyone loved Christmas, it was me. Plus, I'd never missed one of PJ's parties, even when I had had the flu, I still showed up to show my support. Even if I did end up falling asleep in a bathtub. This was the first year PJ was doing a pre-pre Christmas party, after the success of the Halloween party last month, he'd been trying to find any excuse to hold one in November knowing that the usual Christmas party in December was too far away.

"Is this about that boy?" He mused, a sly tone creeped into his voice.

"That boy has a name," I muttered under my breath, thinking I was quiet enough for him not to hear me but he sighed again.

"Well, I've heard that the friend he left with, Louise is coming tonight," my ears perked up. Damn PJ for knowing me so well. I rolled myself out of my bed and looked around my room at the mess I'd created over the past few weeks. Clothes were strewn across the floor and backs of chairs, empty cups across the table, the curtains drawn closed with no light let in, my plant close to death. I couldn't even remember if I'd turned on the actual lights, instead I wanted to sit in the dark on my phone all day. I started picking up random items of clothing, sniffing some shirts only to throw them back onto the floor. I looked at my mostly empty closet, a consequence of not doing any chores or laundry whilst I'd been moping these weeks.

"I'm taking this silence as a yes," I turned my attention from my impromptu outfit contemplating session back to the voice that came out of my phone left on my bed. I really was all over the place, maybe a night out was a good idea. A refresher before I actually got back into my normally organised life. Maybe I'll actually finish that painting that I've been neglecting. I quickly snatched up my phone from its place among the pillows.

"Fine, but it's not for him, it's for your amazing mulled wine," he let out a little cheer and I could tell he was doing his happy dance from the muffled shuffling noises.

"Maybe you can talk to him again and finally stop moping about,"

"I'm not moping," the silence on PJ's side made me rephrase, "He just made me so happy,"

"Spare me the details for the tenth time please, I said I was sorry for taking you away from the love of your life," I rolled my eyes and thought back on all the times I'd pestered PJ over that.

"He's not the love of my life,"

"Phil, you haven't left the house," he said, chastising me once again.

"I'm coming tonight, aren't I?" I grumbled, not wanting another lecture from PJ.

"Yes, well I'll see you in an hour, oh and wear your blue button up, it makes your eyes look good," my eyes drifted to the shirt in question. It was thrown on the back of a chair. At least it wasn't on the floor, maybe it was still clean...?

"Alright bye!" He exclaimed quite loudly before he hung up on me. I rolled my eyes at him for ending our conversation so abruptly before I could try and make a new excuse. I didn't have time to call him back, I needed to put together an outfit. I could wear my new denim jacket tonight, I held it up, reading the 'snazzy jacket' embroidery on the back, perfect.

~~

The party seemed to be a success so far, the mulled wine a great hit once again. The plan for tonight's elaborate party was a huge bonfire with a log pit and a barbecue. I was a little less enthusiastic to help out this time, when I knew it was never going to be as fun without Dan by my side. But being the good friend I was, I stood there working the barbecue, turning over the burgers and sausages. It wasn't the best of jobs but having drunk people tell you you're amazing because you're cooking them food made it slightly more worth it.

"Hey Phil," I nodded to PJ who'd popped his head into the back of the tent where I was cooking. I smiled to him as he properly entered.

"I'm taking over, I think you should have a break," I moved to the side giving him the tongs, took off my apron, and threw it somewhere in the back with the other uniforms. I turned to say thanks to PJ only to notice the sly smile that had crept onto his face.

"What?" I said, raising my eyebrows at him. What could he possibly be hiding now? Do I have oil on my cheek?

"I think I saw Dan out there," I wasn't having such a bad time back here, but the thought of seeing Dan again had made my mood rise significantly. I shuffled from foot to foot, and PJ just laughed.

"Go, and please get his number this time, I don't want to deal with you moping around again,"

"I wasn't mop-" I went to say but stopped when PJ looked at me like I was about to bore him with a list of every prime minister. "Alright, I'm going," I held up my hands before I quickly ducked out the back.

As soon as I was out I quickly made my way towards the house where most of the party took place. I don't know if you could call it a house; it was more of an old wooden shack, like it was hand built, and rooms were tacked on the outside. I decided to start looking for Dan in the kitchen, as I wanted to grab a drink as well. I almost had to push my way through the amount of people stood around in the hallways, but once I'd finally reached the kitchen, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Phil! I haven't seen you in years," I turned around to be met with Jimmy, an old friend from high school.

"Hi Jimmy, how are you?" I ask politely, my mind occupied with thoughts of finding Dan but I still had to make polite conversation, even if my interest in the conversation was next to nothing. Not that I had anything against Jimmy, he was a nice enough guy, but for whatever reason we never seemed to click, not that I clicked with anyone in highschool, but Jimmy was always nice to me.

"Good, great actually!" He replied, a large grin spread across his face. I smiled back at him, "We're about to do some shots. Wanna join?" it's then I looked past him to the three hopeful smiles, with shot glasses in hand, waiting. I hesitated for a second as I knew I wanted to find Dan, but I gave in, one shot couldn't hurt, right?