Say You Won't Let Go ~ Phan Songfic

I wanna dance with you right now

When you looked over your shoulder

For a minute, I forget that I'm older

I wanna dance with you right now, oh

And you look as beautiful as ever

And I swear that everyday you'll get better

You make me feel this way somehow

~~

"No it doesn't look good there," he sighed and let go, the piano hit the floor with an unsatisfying thump. He took a step away to look at it again, back under the window for the fifteenth time.

"Well, maybe if you told me where you wanted it already, it would look good there," I said, a little irritated now and dropped my side of the piano to slump against it. It had already been under the window, next to the fireplace, in our room, in the hallway, even in the bloody kitchen but he still insisted that it didn't look good anywhere and I was starting to grow impatient. The list in my head of things we still needed to do grew, my head hurt with every item I had added.

"It's not my fault that the piano doesn't fit in with this shitty apartment," he started. I glared at him, this apartment may be shitty but he was as just apart of the choosing process as I was, he has no right to insult it.

"Well how it looks in the house isn't my fault, why'd you even buy a piano, it's not like you play on it," I knew I'd hit a nerve when his face went stone still and he glared at me. I met his gaze challenging him with my own glare but my heart wasn't in the argument. It was one thing to get annoyed at him for having me move the piano a thousand times, but another to hit him with the thing he was struggling with the most. And quite frankly, it was a lie. Dan played on his piano all the time and beautifully, at that.

"Really, Phil?" his tone had gone bitter and even though I knew I was wrong, I was ready to lash out. My whole body ached from carrying furniture around and I was tired and hungry and ready to unleash some of the negativity out on him.

"You think you have the nerve to hit me about not playing, when's the last time you painted?" I wanted to shove him away when he took a step forward but I stood my ground, daring him to come closer. How dare he insult how little I've painted when he knows it's his fault!

"Well if it hadn't taken so long for you to move in I would have time to paint," I challenged.

"What about before I moved in then? Where're all those paintings?" I wanted to slap him so bad in that moment. Hit that expression off his face, that smug grin, he thought he'd won.

"I was busy helping you. It's not my fault your family didn't accept our relationship," as soon as the words came out of my mouth I regretted them. Dan's face dropped and I could see his fists clench at his sides. Tears of frustration started to gather in his eyes, my will to fight drained out of me when I saw tears on his face.

"Well maybe it would have been better if we'd never met." It was like a physical blow across my face, an actual punch would have hurt less. I broke our intense eye contact and dropped my gaze to the floor. I waited for it, the sound of his footsteps walking away. The sound of the door slamming behind him. The sound of Dan leaving me. I focused my eyes on his socks, watched, waited, for them to move, for him to say anything. Anything hurt less than this quiet. After what felt like hours of silence, but was probably only a few seconds, I couldn't take it anymore.

"You're gonna leave right?" I said, my voice shaky, tears unable to stay at bay spilt from my eyes. I expected him to still be glaring at me when I looked back at him but his eyes turned away, his own tears fell down his face. It's my fault we're in tears. I pushed it too far. He must hate me. I can't excuse myself for saying such horrid things to him, it's in no way his fault his family can't accept him. His words bounced around in my head, 'never met, never met, he wished you'd never met', I couldn't bring myself be angry at him. It's all my fault.