diana( one direction fanfic)

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 4

For the next few days I continued to self-harm. It gotten to the point  where I found secret places in the school building and cut myself there. No one was the least worried where I was because no one noticed me anymore. I had started to become a person in the background even by my own best friends if they were even that. The only dilemma I had with cutting myself at school was with the amount of blood that would come out. It seemed to be more and more every time I cut a new one. It was also to the point where I started to get dizzy and barely able to walk. I found myself slowly losing conscious from time to time in class. I SERIOUSLY needed to stop cutting myself or else I would never live.

But that's not what I was supposed to want right? Well I honestly didn't. I just wanted to die and fall off of the face of the earth.

One day during lunch I was sitting by myself when my friend Justin came up to me, "Why are you doing this?" he asked. I pretended I had no idea what he was talking about, “What exactly are you talking about?" I pulled my clueless face on to make my lie even better.

"You know exactly what I’m talking about DON’T play stupid with me." He said getting a little bit louder and causing a few people around us to look over to where we were. He took notice of this and pulled me to the near corner away from everyone. "Why are you cutting yourself, sweetie?" He asked in a harsh/sympathetic tone. How did he know about this? NO ONE, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS.

"Don't say sweetie to me like that and I do it because it makes me feel better it relieves the pain that everyone in my life causes me. I do it because I have no help in life. And I continue to do it because my parents even show me that no one cares about me and no ever will. If you want to lecture someone about cutting go talk to my parents about it and see not a darn thing change. They already know I cut myself and they say absolutely nothing about it." With tears in my eyes I walked away and wiped the tears that were falling on my face.

The next few hours went by slowly and made me feel even sicker than what i was after that conversation with Justin.

Too focused in my thoughts I didn't notice when my phone started vibrating until it almost fell out of my lap. I looked at the screen and it told me I had a new message. I unlocked my phone and immediately regretted it. Justin had texted me. 'I'm sorry for what I said earlier. It just made me really mad when I noticed what you were doing. You are way too beautiful for that and shouldn’t be told those things you told me earlier. I want to be there for you. You could have come and talked to me. I would have listened to you like I always do. I thought we were close enough to talk about things that bothered us and things like that. Long story short I just wanted to say that I was sorry for blowing up on you like that. I was hoping that we could talk later on if you felt like it after school. I REALLY AM SORRY FOR THE WAY I ACTED EARLIER. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!! :(. I almost smiled at the message he sent me. Everything that he said was really nice but he will never be able to make this up. He could have just come to me without yelling at me like the way he did. The way he made me feel earlier when he was yelling at me it was like finding out someone you loved deeply passed away or even worse than that. There is a part telling me that I should go see him. Then there is a part that's telling me that I should just stay mad at him. But considering he wanted forgiveness I text him. "I will meet you after class by the water fountain by the double doors in the front of the school.

This was going to be strange talking to him about this. I never talked to anyone about my problems. Especially not these sort of problems. Hopefully this wouldn't blow up in my face.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK. ARE THERE ANY SPELLING/GRAMMER ERRORS THAT YOU SEE. I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT