A Morning Jog is Good for Your Health

A Security Blanket

Charles was still shaking on Erik's couch, curling up on himself in the blanket Erik brought him. Wrapped inside he felt a little safer, pulling it high up to his cheeks as if he were a turtle and the blanket was his shell. Erik was in the kitchen, making tea because Erik was a caring and loving boyfriend and Charles didn't deserve someone like that in his life. He tried not to think about that and looked at his left.

"I don't want to say 'I told you so', but I told you so." Raven curled her legs close to her chest on the other side of the couch. She rested her head on her knees, wrapping her arms around them and looking at Charles sideways. "I warned you to get away from it all while you still could. It seems too late now."

Charles sighed.

"Look, it wasn't really your fau--" she began but Charles' desperate glare made her shut up. He knew it was his fault. No one should dare say otherwise. "Alright." Raven nodded and remained silent.

Charles rested his eyes for a moment. Noise of cups clattering from the kitchen indicated that Erik was almost done preparing the tea. Charles tried not to think about the lab equipment clattering in a similar way earlier when he was preparing the serum.

He really scared Erik this afternoon. He owed him an explanation but explaining things, even only bits and pieces, made Charles feel like a despicable human being.

He sucked in another deep breathe. The shock was slowly wearing off, even though he was still shivering. Maybe he was coming down with a cold on top of everything else. On top of murdering a person, Charles' mind supplied and Charles felt yet another shivering wave of anxiety.

He didn't hear Erik coming in the living room until the other man gently attracted his attention.

"Hey." Erik said softly, placing the tea down on the coffee table next to his phone.

Charles looked up at Erik. "Thank you." he said quietly. At least his voice sounded less pathetic now. He took the tea cup with both hands and sipped from it as he glanced at his left again. The seat on the couch next to him was empty.

Erik gave Charles a gentle tap on the shoulder and sat down opposite him, no doubt to have a better view on Charles' face. The state of Charles' mind was suddenly no secret to Erik. Erik could clearly see his boyfriend was unwell and naturally he wanted to make sure Charles didn't hurt himself while he was so unstable and shaky. There was no escaping a serious conversation this time and Charles knew it.

"Do you feel like you can talk about it now or are you not ready yet?" Erik finally asked when he realized Charles wasn't taking the initiative in communicating here.

"I'll talk." Charles consented. He owed Erik this much after dropping at his door like that, Charles reminded himself. He took a moment and then began. "I'm so sorry, Erik, I really am but I needed you so badly that I came here on autopilot."

"It's alright, Charles. Of course, you're always welcome here!" Erik assured him and Charles felt at least a little less tense.

"It's to do with my work." There. He's said it. And the world did not end. It did not explode like Armando did. Right in front of Charles' eyes. Because of Charles and his serum. Because it didn't work. Because it was dangerous. Because it killed Armando. Charles killed Armando. Focus! "I work for a big company, as I said. I conduct researches for them. And my research... it went wrong! It went so wrong!" his voice cracked again and he needed another moment and another reassuring pat on his back from Erik before he could continue. "It was too early to test it but no one listened to me. And I'm too pathetic and weak to stand up for myself and tell them to stop and to just... to just fuck off!"