We Are Broken

Chapter 39

Chapter 39:

((Carter's Point of View))

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU AREN'T ALLOWED IN THIS ROOM!" a doctor screams at me, jerking me away. 

I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep in the hospital bed with Fay. We had stayed up most of the night talking. Around one she had started to drift asleep, but she made me promise that I had to stay there until she fell asleep. I meant to leave once I was sure she was asleep. Somehow I managed to fall asleep also though. 

Fay curled into my side, wrapping her arms tighter around me. 

"She won't let me go." I said in a soft voice, trying not to wake her. She desperately needed a good nights sleep. If this doctor kept yelling then I knew she would be woken up soon. 

"LEAVE!" he shouts. 

"Can you please be quiet. I don't want her to wake up!" I said. 

"Yeah, because you don't want her to realize that you've snuck in here!" he snaps at me, no longer yelling. 

"She knows I'm here." I informed him. 

"Oh really?"

I nod. "I snuck in late last night. She saw me." 

"Be..........quiet..............Carter." murmers a muffled voice against my chest. 

I run a hand through her soft hair. She was currently face down on my chest. One leg was wrapped over my waist. Both arms clung to me tightly. One fist balled up my shirt tightly. So tightly that I knew I was most likely going to have to buy a new shirt. A thin blanket covered the both of us. 

"Please, can we talk about this later?" I begged the doctor. "I just want her to sleep."

He sighs. "All right. But this conversation isn't over, young man. You both have some serious explaining to do."

I nod and he soon leaves the room. 

I kiss Fay's forehead before trying to go back to sleep. I knew that it was impossible to sleep though. I wanted nothing more then to sleep in her arms. Sleep just wouldn't come to me though. 

Ever since Fay has been in the hospital nightmares have returned. They kept on getting worse and worse. I figured that if I had Fay back in my arms they would get better. Instead that didn't stop them this time. All the images flooded back to me. 

Sometimes I could swear I felt the shock rocking through my body. Then I'd wake up. It was like cold water hit me when I was awake. It was the shock of awakeness you get when you feel like your hurt but really your perfectly fine. I knew I wasn't perfectly fine though. Not mentally. I knew that I would never be perfectly fine mental wise. 

No one would be if they went through what I had gone through. Countless doctors had told me that it was a miracle that I was alive. They said that I must have wanted to live.

I had never wanted to live though. Each day I would beg for them to kill me. Even the rare few moments they would leave me alone, I begged an invisible force to kill me. I didn't want to live. I had wanted my life to be over so badly. I remember trying to kill myself on countless occasions. All attempts had failed, much to my dismay. It was as if something wanted me to keep living. 

Now i wanted to live. Now actually had a reason to live. Fay. She was as fucked up, if not more, then me. With her I knew that everything was going to be okay. 

She was going to help me get better. 

She was going to save me. 

((Fay's Point of View))

I woke up to see Carter looking down at me. He smiled at me softly. 

"Good morning, beautiful." he says.

His eyes have bags under them. Worse then they were when I saw him last night. I'm guessing another sleepless night for him. I didn't question him about it though. I knew that if he wanted to talk about it, then he could come to me whenever he wanted to.

"I look like shit." I said, trying to hide my face from his view. 

He lifts my face up until I am looking at him. "You are always beautiful." he informs me. 

I give him a soft, but tired grin. "Thanks." 

"You should go back to sleep." he says. 

"I could say the same thing to you." I point out. 

He shrugs. "I'm fine."

"No you're not. You look live you've been to hell and back." I told him. 

He shrugs. "Feel like it too." 

"Are you having nightmares again?" I asked. 

"They aren't that bad." he lies.

I could tell they were affecting Carter. He seemed paranoid. As if his family would burst through the door any second and do something horrible. These nightmares were worse then usual. I have never seen him this scared. 

"Please, don't lie to me." I begged him. 

Then he burst into tears. I didn't know what to do to him, but hold him in my arms. I rubbed his back. I woud cry, but I couldn't. All of my tears were dried up. I just held him, murming things into his ear. 

"I'm scared, Fay." he tells me. "I'm scared........and I don't know what to do."

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HAPPY EASTER

Sorry I left it on such a sad note, but I couldn't help it. Hope you guys enjoyed that.

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