After my little sob in the gym I had plucked up enough courage to head into Math class, Clay telling Tony to escort me, as to because he had Math too. I had never really talked to Tony, I was afraid he'd see me as a nobody.
As a useless mistake, because right now that's how I felt. I felt unwanted, I felt heart broken.
I had my head down as Tony and I walked to our class, in silence. I knew Tony wanted to make a conversation, so I guess he wanted one.
"Hey, Marie I know we haven't really talked at all, since middle school I guess, but I'm always here for you, you know" I kept quite afraid to speak. I only really talked to Clay and Kimberly. I always hid in my room when Tony would come over, my parents knew I wasn't really a people person.
They respected that, but I sort of thought Tony wasn't all of what I seemed. He was different, and I wanted to investigate in his actions. He was a mystery I wanted to solve.
I looked up at Tony, flashing a weak smile at him. His hazelnut eyes glossing over my green ones.
"Thanks Tony" I whispered weakly, he smiled at me before we entered our class room. I froze for a moment, seeing Justin at the back of the room, lucky for me it was only one, Kimberly had a class with Clay, I told him not to do anything and he respected that and promised me he wouldn't do or say anything.
I pushed myself as close to the front as I could, lightly turning my head to see Tony sitting behind me, he smiled in my direction. I snapped my head at the front, seeing as the teacher was starting the lesson.
I clenched my jaw and held my tears back, at the thought of Justin and Kimberly. I knew the tears were ready to fall because my eyes began to go red.
Mr Fitz, stopped at my desk my eyes snapping up at him. His eyes were narrowing at me but they soon softened.
"Marie, are you okay?" He asked my breath quickened. And my vision began to get blurry. I shook my head closing my eyes quickly.
"Ca-can I leave please" I pleaded Mr Fitz, nodded quickly. Grabbing a ripped piece of paper from his writing pad, and quickly wrote a note for me, before handing it to me.
"You can take a walk Ms Jensen come back when you feel the need to, if you want Mr Porters open today" I panicked at the thought of Mr Porter the Councillor.
I grabbed the paper with a shaky hand, grabbing my bag and rushed out of the classroom. I knew I had a panic attack coming on and it, felt as if I was about to day from the lack of oxygen.
I heard a faint yell pleading me to stop, but I couldn't my feet led me to the gym, not to far from my original classroom. Since everyone had the fun run for P.E today the gym was rarely used.
The yelling continued to chase me, I run further into the gym. My eyes going blurry before my body stopped in the middle of the gym.
I rubbed my eyes my mind going into a blurry cloud, I wasn't just in the gym by myself, I was standing at the dance.
I remember as if it were the best night I had ever had. Clay forced me to go because Jeff pretty much made him go too. I loved Jeff, he was well what can I say. The only other guy who knew about Clay's, desperate crush on Hannah.
When he had died, that broke my heart to the point it just needed a little tap from Justin to make it fully fall to pieces. Jeff was Clays friend, and I knew he deserved better.
Fuck Hannah and Jeff deserved to be loved the right way. And I knew their deaths will never be forgotten. Even if people tried to forget the both of them, theirs always that little memory that still sticks.
Either it being of you and that person, or of just that person alone. You will always have them somewhere in your mind no matter what.
I still remembered the dance Jeff and I shared, it was the one time I actually got out there for once. I still remember the vivid sound of the soft music blurry in my ears now and again. It was the best song I had ever heard.
It was slow and it was perfect. But the only thing I regretted that night was never getting to know Jeff as much as Clay did, we had a connection but it wasn't as strong as to what Clay and I have now. Jeff always being a bit to hard to talk about with Clay was breath taking, he would blame himself if I ever bring him up, just by asking. What was Jeff like Clay?
I mean Clay knew him more then anyone really, they shared so much secrets, that Clay is now sharing with Tony, and for some reason I'm afraid he's hiding a few important ones from me.
"Marie!" My eyes shot open, I was breathing quickly, I was laying on my back Tony's arm under my head. My eyes were wide, I was staring at him in shook.
His soft worried hazelnut eyes seemed to sooth my breathing, easing it to steady. I closed my eyes taking in a steady breath to level out everything.
I opened my eyes and stared at Tony. His mouth was gapped and I was surprised when he pulled me into a warm embrace, I froze.
I had never been hugged by someone other then, Kimberly, Clay, my mom, dad and Jeff only twice though. But this hug seemed quite off in a way it felt good.
I frowned pulling away from him, lifting my eyebrows.
"You okay Tony?" I asked he clenched his jaw realizing that I had no idea what was going on.
"Marie you almost died, your pulse was only faint. Until I-" Tony froze biting his bottom lip. I sat up waiting for him to finish.
"Until you what Tony!?" I pleaded in confusion. He rubbed his face, leaning back on his hands before staring straight at me, his eyes immediately burning into mine.
"Until I had to kiss you, so you could breath a little better" I sat there with my mouth gapped.
"You were having a panic attack I didn't know what to do, but then I remember, if you hold your breath long enough to steady ones heartbeat, so, so I kissed you" I clenched my jaw sitting on the gym floor confused out of my mind.
All I have in there was.
Tony, Me, Fainting, Panic Attack, Running, Day Dream, Kiss, Then Confusion.
I was still staring at Tony, I got up from my spot and began to walk out of the gym, I didn't know what to think I didn't know what to do. I was scared out of my mind.
The day had turned out horrible to confusing in a matter of minutes. I felt uncomfortable, I had kissed well no I didn't kiss Tony had kissed me. To well save my life, If that's what he said.
It was something I had never knew would happen, I hadn't had a panic attack in years, weird after a stressful lesson and a sob session I'd end up having a panic attack session too, and a kissing lesson to go along with this whole day. What's next?
What the hell was Tony thinking, I mean he could've taken me to the nurse of something it wasn't to far from the gym, I wouldn't of died. I just would've stopped breathing. Same thing? No. Yes. Oh I have no idea I'm as confused as it comes.
