Therapy Session (Mac Prison)

Thirty Two: Friendly Chats

AHHHHHH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY OMG. 🏳️‍🌈🦁💝 (Nala is now going to be Naji!!! AHHHHHH)

Friday came much too soon for Mac. He woke up later than usual, and luckily he hadn't had any wet dreams the previous night. Jesus was already up, flipping through the pages of a book. He glanced at Mac when he shifted, and smiled softly. "Morning." He said friendlily.

Mac grunted and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Jesus shut the book and turned to face Mac, his arms straight out as he waited for Mac to change him. "I already changed my boxers while you were asleep." He said as Mac stood up.

Mac grunted again and grabbed Jesus's clothes, carefully putting them on the leaner man. While Mac pulled Jesus's pants up his legs, he had to lean into Jesus for good leverage. He couldn't help but inhale Jesus's scent. He smelled like minty strawberries, and Mac bit his lip, craving the smell. He finished putting Jesus's clothes on, avoiding eye contact when he pulled away.

Mac was nervous, ok? He was nervous about meeting Jesus in the library. He didn't know what was going to happen or what he was going to say. Was Jesus expecting a make out session? God Mac hoped not. It was one thing to kiss Jesus once out of pure desire, but just casual kissing? Mac wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Fuck should he even go? What if a Heathen walked in on them? That risk was so high, and he still didn't know where Negan stood with homosexuality. What if he hated it, and then beat the shit out of Mac or Jesus? Mac bit his lip and worried it. He wasn't going to go. No, he just couldn't do it. Too much could happen that Mac wasn't ready for, and there was such a high risk of danger.

But... part of him wanted to go. Part of him wanted to be able to trust Jesus and to be able to talk to him, and not to mention some of his other urges and secret desires.

Fuck.

Mac sat down on his cot as Jesus stood up, grabbing his shampoo and body soap and slowly exited. When he was alone, Mac sighed and laid back, staring at the ceiling. He was wondering how he'd face Jesus again after bailing on him in the library, and how Jesus would react. Would he be upset with Mac? Pissed? Understanding? God Mac hoped for the last one. He just... there was too much that could go wrong, too many possibilities.

"I think that what you're going through is just a need to rely on someone, a need to be able to tell them anything whenever something pops into your head. And maybe Jesus is that person you want to trust."

Trisha's words echoed in Mac's head as he chewed his lip raw. Why would he want to trust Jesus? Sure they were cellmates and they both had life, and were friends at one point...

He must've been thinking for a long time, because the next thing he knew he was on his way to the showers with Rick rambling beside him. But his mind still fretting and worrying about Jesus and his unexplained feelings. On his way, he heard the clunking of the crutches, and Mac felt his heartbeat speed up. He felt this strange feeling in his chest when he saw Jesus swinging around the corner. Something like... excitement? It was a foreign feeling, something he hadn't felt since his childhood. But seeing Jesus coming towards him made his chest squeeze a little, and something fluttering in his stomach.

As Jesus reached Mac, Mac noticed he had a slight smirk to his face. Before he knew it, Jesus's crutch "gave out", sending Jesus flying into Mac's arms. Mac caught him, his face heating up to the boiling point. Mac held still, his arms wrapped under Jesus's shoulders while Jesus's chest was pressed into his own. Mac was frozen as Jesus sat up, his face flushed as Rick leaned down to grab Jesus's crutch for him, giving Mac a strange look.

"Sorry. These damn things can be so unsteady." Jesus apologized, shifting on his crutches until he was standing upright. "Thanks for catching me."

Mac grunted and glared at him, yet his heart was fluttering and his cheeks were burning, but in a good way. He stared at Jesus, trying to be angry. "Quit fallin' into me." He growled, storming away with Rick right beside him.

Rick arched an eyebrow at Mac, staring at him like he had just told the biggest, most obvious lie ever told. Mac caught the stare. "What?" He demanded.

"'Quit falling for me'? When has he done that before?"

Mac glanced up at him. "Prick does it all the time. Maybe I should fall on him for a change." He muttered.

Rick raised both eyebrows. "You're going to fall for him?"

Mac stared up in horror. "No!" He spat, his heart hammering in his chest. "I didn' say that!"

Rick chuckled. "I know, I'm just picking on you." He said, nudging Mac's arm. They continued walking, though now in a heavy, awkward silence. Then Rick glanced at Mac for a second before facing ahead of them. "You know, if you are like that, I won't judge you."

"I ain't."

"I'm just saying if you are, I won't say anything. It's your secret to tell, not mine." He said.

"Well I ain't." Mac mumbled, though not thoroughly convinced.

Rick shrugged. "We all need someone. Just, be careful, if you are like that. You know how Spencer is with these things."

Mac stared down at the ground as they walked, a heavy tension thick enough to cut through stuck in the air. Rick knew that Mac was going through something. Mac glanced up at Rick and sighed. "I dunno what I feel." He admitted softly.

Rick shrugged. "Just go with your gut. If you want to, do it. No one is going to stop you, and Paul's not a bad guy. He'd get it if you didn't want to go public."

"We ain't nothin'." Mac mumbled softly.

"Ah." Rick said, smirking at Mac. "You're nothing yet."

Mac sighed and adjusted the items in his hands. "I uh... we, um..." he whispered, looking down at his feet. The two of them were alone in the hall, being one of the first few awake. Mac liked getting up early and showering. There was always less people.

Rick glanced at Mac, waiting patiently. Mac sighed. "You ain't gonna tell anyone, are ya?"

"No. It's your secret to tell, not mine." Rick said.

Mac sighed and nodded. "Ok. Well um... we uh, in the library yesterday..."

Rick smirked and chuckled softly. "You kiss-"

"Shush!" Mac hissed, despite no one being around to hear.

Rick chuckled and nudged Mac. "It's ok, you know." He said. "I mean, I'm not gay or anything, but Paul doesn't look bad."

Mac grunted. Oh he knew how good Jesus looked. He had a much smaller frame than him, and those fucking eyes...

Rick shrugged and glanced down at Mac, a slight smirk on his face. "I ship it."

"What fuck does that mean?" Mac asked, glancing up in confusion.

"I heard it from Carl. It's some internet thing where you think two people would make a good couple." He said, nudging Mac. "You and Paul would make a cute couple."

"Fuck off." Mac growled, shoving Rick. But at the same time, his chest warmed at the thought of him and Jesus being a thing. Like an actual thing. And they were cellmates, so maybe they could do things in their cell away from everyone else, like that one night...

Mac sighed as he thought about it. Maybe Jesus wanted to meet up so Mac could repay that favor? He bit the inside on his cheek. He didn't really want to repay Jesus like that. He wasn't like that. Or maybe Jesus just wanted to talk? Or kiss or something?

But the ever present threat of being discovered was still hanging in the air. Spencer and other Heathens weren't necessarily homophobic, but they hated Jesus's guts. And if Mac and Jesus became a public thing, then the Heathens would kill Jesus or Mac. Maybe both of them. Then there were the homophobic Heathens, who'd definitely kill them both.

He couldn't meet Jesus. There was just too much danger and risk. Hopefully Jesus would understand...

Sorry for flipping out earlier. I am just REALLY happy. Imagine how many LGBT kids would feel better about themselves because of this! 😄😁