Fall Apart

Five

"You're....you're what?" He asked with a shocked look.

"I'm pregnant." I repeated in a small voice, looking at the ground.

"Wow." Zay said, looking at the sky. "It is Lucas's?"

"Yeah it is." I respond.

"Oh my goodness...... just wow." He said, this time looking at me.

"Is that all you're gonna say?" I ask, slightly irritated.

"No no, sorry. I'm just so happy. A mini Maya? That's so amazing." He puts his hand over my stomach. "Hey lil' M."

I giggle at the nickname. I haven't even thought about what the gender could be.

"Congratulations. This is so awesome. How far along are you?"

"Thanks. About two months." I say.

"Two months! And you haven't told us?" I says surprised.

"It's complicated...." I paused. "When I told Lucas he didn't take it well and I haven't seen him since. And my mom kicked me out. Shawn doesn't know though. When he finds out, I'm afraid he'll leave because I'm a disgrace."

"Oh my gosh Maya, I didn't know that. This is so not the Lucas I know. You're right, I haven't seen him in a long time too. And your mom should not kick you out. But one thing is, you're not a disgrace and don't think you are. This is a child you're bringing into the world, that's not bad." Zay puts his hand on my shoulder.

"But I'm not ready to be a parent. What if they turn out like me? I'm a horrible person."

"No you're not Maya. You're one of the best people I know. You'll never fine."

"Zay, my rent has run out. I have no where to live. No father to my child. No career anymore. I don't know what to do." I say in realization. Things are falling apart. I slowly crouch down, trying to get my breathing under control.

"Maya, Maya calm down. It's okay. Lucas will come back. And if you have to, you can live with me for awhile." Zay offers.

I calm down. "Don't you live with Farkle?" I ask.

"Our rooms are connected, but we have different living spaces like yours and Riley's. Why don't you tell Riley?" He asks.

"I don't know. I'm afraid she'll hate me."

"Why would she hate you? She's your bestfriend."

"I'm not sure! Look I don't know anything. But I have an idea. You bring me to the doctor, and I'll tell Riley." I say.

"Done. Let's go." Zay says.

What have I gotten myself into?