The Fugitive Grandma Lives

Chapter 2 - Phony

Everybody knows that life is tough once you hit the seventh grade. That was particularly true in the case of Johnny Valentine. He was a twelve-year-old fugitive, wanted for conspiring with his grandmother to commit a string of notorious armed robberies. Johnny had already witnessed how cruel the world can be. He had faced up against bullies young and old, some riding skateboards and some wielding guns.

And while many kids the same age as Johnny might feeling like they have to pretend to be someone else to fit in, for Johnny it was official. As a fugitive from the law, he did have to pretend to be someone else every day. He could never admit to be Johnny Valentine. He had to be Billy Chase, the fictitious name of a boy who didn't really exist. He had been forced to memorize the details of this fake kid with a make-believe past.

His father and grandma had forced him to make a cheat sheet and review it every morning first thing when he woke up. This was his official story.

- He was William Andrew Chase, born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Johnny had never actually been to Pittsburgh so his grandma made him surf on Google Maps to see the streets and get a good sense of the neighborhoods. She also made him memorize the most popular pizza shops in the city

- As Billy Chase, he had moved to Palm Valley California last summer when his father divorced and found a new job as a real estate agent. His grandmother Lucy Chase came along.

- Billy Chase liked to watch pro football games featuring the Pittsburgh Steelers. Billy Chase liked to read comic books with his hero Captain Justice (just like Johnny, that was the main thing that was true about Johnny that got ported over to Billy Chase).

Of course there were significant differences between Billy and Johnny. Billy was supposed to be a normal kid. Johnny Valentine would never be normal. He was a crazy dreamer who wanted to have adventures and save the world. Back in his hometown of Santa Ramona, California, he had taken his grandmother Stella's .357 magnum revolver and helped bust her out of a retirement home. Then they launched a series of audacious heists, stealing a pile of cash and prescription drugs before going into hiding with his dad, who was Stella's son. A regular kid might've fantasized about doing something like that. But Johnny was different. Johnny's brain was wired in some weird way where that it blurred the lines between fantasy and reality. This read his action comics as if they were a manual on how to live. Then he'd go out into the real world and try to take action, righting wrongs and defending against evil. He remembered the captain's famous words to his fans and followers:

"Every single one of us can make a difference. Every single one of us can be a hero."

Unfortunately, not everyone agreed with this idea. His grandmother in particular was trying to put the baggage of their old identities behind them.

"You gotta stop with those notions!" his grandma now insisted. "No more adventures. No more saving the world from crooks and shysters. That's Johnny's line of thinking. There ain't no Johnny Valentine no more. There can't be! It's gotta be Billy Chase from here on out. And Billy Chase don't have no crazy dreams he's a normal kid."

"You always told me not to be a phony," Johnny protested to his grandmother.

"You can be true in your heart, Johnny. God can see what's going on in there and he knows the deal. But you got to be fake on the outside. Otherwise the law will catch up with us and our goose is cooked!"

"So we're all phony now."

"Sometimes you got to be a phony to survive."