New Beginnings (A Bruno Mars Fanfic)

32.

3 weeks later

She was sitting on the floor in the family room watching the rain, she had always enjoyed watching it fall and had found it relaxing and had hoped to feel the peace it had always given her, but as she watches the rain fall the moments leading up to the crash replay over and over in her head and the same question repeated itself could she have done anything differently that would have saved their baby.

She knew from what Bruno and the police had told her that it wasn't her fault and that the blame lay solely with the drunk driver who had crashed into her.

He had been watching CeCe sit at the window, he knew she enjoyed watching the rain but he didn't think she was really seeing it, she looked so sad as she always did since finding out she had lost their baby 3 weeks ago and she wasn't sleeping well, and hadn't left the house other than to do photo shoots that she had started doing again 4 days ago, she was barely eating and had lost weight she couldn't afford to lose and all his cajoling and nagging got her to eat no more than a few bites.

He went and sat beside her, put his arm around her and felt her relax against him and he wished he knew how to take their pain of loss away.

Hey Phil and Urbana want to know if we want to go have dinner at their place tonight, what do you think he asks hoping she'll say yes.

I'm not good company right now and I know it's not been easy for you either but i'd rather stay in, maybe next week but you should go babe CeCe replies.

I'll let em know we're not coming, how about we have some chilli that your mom brought over yesterday for dinner and listen to music, watch tv, just have a relaxing night in Bruno asks her.

He was trying so hard and has been so damn patient with her she doesn't have the heart to say no and replies ok sounds good and it felt good to see him smile.

He wanted to know what she wasn't telling him, they had talked about losing the baby but he felt the reason she wasn't sleeping well were due to the dreams she wouldn't talk to him about and he felt that getting her to talk about them could help her.

I know you don't want to talk about your dreams baby but I think it would be good for you, holding it in when they are obviously bothering you isn't good, I want to help you, tell me about them Bruno says and strokes her waist hoping she'll tell him.

She knew he might be right and replies some of my dreams hell even when i'm awake the moments leading up to the crash replay in my head it's like it's on a loop.

He kisses her head and says i'm sorry baby but there was nothing you could have done, the police told us that and they have witnesses and video that proves that there was no way you could have avoided that fucking drunk driver and asks her what about your other dreams.

I dream about a child with your hair whose face I never see with us, putting them to bed and reading stories to them and of us playing with them and you swinging them up into your arms, their full of love, laughter and smiles, their happy dreams, bittersweet and ones I wish I didn't wake up from but it hurts having them because it's just a dream she replies and hadn't realised she was crying until Bruno moves in front of her and wipes her tears away.

He wipes her tears away and pulls her into his arms and replies i've had similar dreams of us with our child and your right they are bittersweet and they hurt but I believe that 1 day we will have a child and those dreams will come true CeCe and be better than either of us dreamed of.

We will never forget, but I think what will help us both heal from losing peanut is to try and do the things we use to do that we enjoyed and made us happy CeCe.

She knew Bruno was right and replies easier said than done but i'll try babe and kisses him.

ahh i'm still struggling writing on from the aftermath of the crash and the emotions and strain on a relationship that losing a baby could cause so please bare with me guys.