"Honestly... No..." Part One

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For months upon months I went in cycles with Levi. He didn't want to know if he was into guys or not. He was too afraid that if he wasn't into guys it would hurt me. And he was right, it would hurt me but I couldn't control that. I couldn't change if he wasn't into me. He would confuse me though when he would send me things like "I think I love you more than I should" or when I'm feeling like I'm worthless he'll tell me he loves me and he needs me... I just... I don't know... but then he tried to end it again. He told me to get over him. So I did my best to do so. I promised myself that if he wanted to start it again that I would ask him if he realized we've been going in circles.

"Hey are you free this weekend?"

"Yeah why?"

"Well we are going out on the boat this weekend I was wondering if you'd wanna come."

"Sure." I reply.

His birthday was this weekend. So was my nieces birthday. That weekend I packed a bag before walking to his house, and his mom drove us to the boat along with his sister and her friend. The whole time his sisters friend flirted with Levi.  I got a bit jealous but didn't show it. Though I did notice he had started getting cuddly, like he normally did when another cycle would start.

Later we were in his bedroom and were play fighting and he moved a hand to my cheek before leaning closer and kissed me. I couldn't help but give in and kiss him back. We made out for awhile before his sister opened the door to ask a question before leaving again. I looked to him. This was my chance.

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