Prison of the Mind

In Flamma Ignis

Fear spiked, accelerating her heart beat by a fraction. A second passed. Then another.

He wasn't moving. He was watching her, studying her, but had not advanced even an inch towards her.

Finally his blistering gaze swung to the figure next to her.

"So, you truly don't believe me capable of killing her, do you?"

Lucifer seemed to collect his patience, or at least what little of it was left.

"Allow me to remind you that you are a human, Jack. You are still flawed, and you still want to forgive-"

"No. No, I do not. I just do not want my life to be dictated by a puppeteer." His fists were clenching and unclenching.

"I already explained this to you, pirate. You need this guidance, from me, to help you realize that the choices you make are the right ones. Your memories, you saw that everything you did was right-"

Jack shook his head. "No. I saw that everything I have done, every person that I have killed, every choice that I have made, I made on my own. I did not come to the conclusion that I need you. And whether or not I choose to kill her will be by my choice, because that is what it all boils down to, isn't it? Whether or not I send her soul to you for your personal amusement."

He paused, watching Lucifer's fury rapidly accelerate.

"Looking back at those memories, I realized one crucial mistake that I have made. I looked for validation for everything I did from someone else, or something else. But there was never going to be any. They say that doubt is a crippling enemy. Unfortunately, it seems that I fell prey to it for too long."

Jack stepped closer to the demon so that he was looking him in the eye.

"You are just like her, in a way. Your speeches about find the right path and balancing darkness were just disguises for getting me to give you her. You wanted to torture her, because she dared to act against your precious pirate captain. However, you lost sight of the one thing that I hold on to."

Lucifer's hand shot out to grip Jack's arm. "Listen to me, pirate. You-"

"What I need is for you to cease your attempts to dangle me from strings so that I dance to your tune. I never had any doubt about the acts I committed, you wretch, because I had control over them. I had freedom over my choices. Doubt comes when that control is taken away from me, when something happens that I cannot rationalize-"

"Like love..."

She had said it in such a small voice that she wasn't sure anyone had heard her. Then Jack's eyes slowly slid over to stare at her.

Quickly regretting speaking at all, she watched as Jack stepped towards her slowly, after wrenching Lucifer's hand away.

"That you would presume that I have no control over her proves to me that you are not even worthy of giving me guidance. You want to control me, and I am not a person who enjoys being controlled. I would make every choice over again if presented with an opportunity to choose differently. And I will navigate the rest of my life without you, demon, regardless of the trials that I am going to face. I do not need you."

He was now standing right in front of her. She shivered when he trailed his finger down her cheek. "I assure you, she will get the punishment she deserves, when I decide what it shall be, and she will not resist."

It was deathly quiet for a long moment.

"If it is your choice to be taken from this place by her, then I will not intervene. But I hope for your sake that you are able to navigate the mess that is your mind, and make the right choice with regards to her. And I hope that the memories we revisited did you some good in sorting out your mind."