cappuccino; vmin

Chapter 5

(A/N: Trigger warning + watch the video above^)

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING, MAN? Are you dumb or what?" The mint haired boy yelled at me after he heared a story of me, wanting to donate an organ of mine just to avail the highest possible seat that is currently on sale by some ramdon Twitter user. The man added some bucks which made me more miserable for not having the money to get the goddamn ticket.

"Yoongi, you know me too well right? You know that Park Jimin is my drug, aye? Can you just please help me see him?" I pleaded to my roommate. Yoongi has earned great deals from his company that he can have his own mansion but decided not to for he said that he can't leave this damn apartment with lots of treasures.

"Yoongi, he's practically my life. I'll do anything just to be his life too." I can see his eyes start to burst out with madness... He can't understand me.

Min Yoongi drops his glass of water onto the table. Making red pigmented fluid flow around the furniture.

Memories

The past rushed towards me as I hear the glass breaks, his loud growl and his blood squirting everywhere.

I stared at his eyes filled with pity.

Suddenly, I started questioning myself why the hell I am addicted to my love. Why?

Oh.

It's because his melody tickles my ears and make my eyes turn into nothing whenever I am feeling alone. It's because I'd rather watch him doing those stunts and moves than watch my parents fight merciless. It's because he became my inspiration to stand up when I can't see in the dark room. It's because those eyes and every bit of him makes me wonder why do other people look so damn good? It's because he's my only hope whenever rusty chains where around my neck, whenever old pieces of razor starts to find its way on my wrist, whenever the dirty knife tries to go out of my hand and go straight into my sad blood pumping organ.

"What's with Park Jimin that anyboy can't give to you?" He yelled while holding my jaw not so carefully. "What's with him that it made you like this?!" Salty liquid starts to fall from my eyes, I thought he know me so well? Then what's with the questions?

"And if the fucking tickets are sold out.. then why not wait for another?! Are you really dumb?!"

"It's because I might be below the ground in a few more months," I mumbled. I am glad Yoongi didn't hear a single word.

"You're horrible." He said his back facing me. "I hate you." I said with an angry heart and decision. I started running towards my bedroom and locking the door if he ever decided to come in. I don't want to see him just yet after that heated argument.

I curled myself in my bed then started to reminisce. No, no. No, please not again! I internally screamed trying to stop myself to imagine those memories once again. Experiencing it in real life was enough, I don't want to feel the pain anymore. These fucked up feelings are more painful than being shot in the head.

(Past)

"What's this? Huh? HAHA a music chords with flower designs? And also talking about young love?! Taehyung is gay! Very gay!"

~

"What the fuck happened in your school, you idiot?! Why did you punch your classmate?"

"H-he called me gay!"

"Well! You look so gay anyway! You're so fat! And you're dreaming of being an idol?"

"I am not fat, Mom!"

"And now you're answering back?! Just accept that you'll never be an idol, rascal!"

~

"Here's Tae Gay guys! Look at his food! So many carbs! We'll be calling you fat too from now on!"

"STOP! Atleast I-i am receiving emough love from my mother!"

"Is it love? Or just pity?! HAHAHA! Your mom doesn't love you, kid!"

"Well maybe I am feeling the love from the material things. But I don't even have the freedom to do my own thing"

"Who are you talking to?"

"No one. Go away before the bullies hurt you the way they hurt me."

"One advice. Listen to Park Jimin's new mixtape.. It's about depression and standing up. Very dedicated to you, huh?"

~

"AHHHHH!" I growled as the first stage of torture starts appearing at very back of my mind, making my very own skull to break into pieces and bleed to death.

I immediately went into my own rehab I made since I moved here.

Bathroom.

Sink.

Drawer.

A small part of the shiny thing made my tongue tastes like glitter. And I want more...

Before I can land the razor on my wrist... my phone suddenly buzzed and the ringtone goes off.... a sign that someone is calling me.

Guess the ringtone?

His mixtape that made me like him so much that I'd rather die alone than seeing him in pain.

"Hey. You don't know what the fuck, us motherfuckers, have been through. You wouldn't even want to try to though. But us, motherfuckers, just needed to be strong to fight you assholes back. Strong? Weeeell, I mean strong as we don't need a blade as weapon for keeping us safe from your nonsense shit. WATCH IT YO! I am a goddamn star on my own, Park Jimin is my name, FUCKING BACK OFF HAHA!"

I really chose the part where he's savage and cocky as fuck. A part where someone finally said that being weak with the blade is a fucking source of happiness for others. Also involves a very playful side of him, telling motherfuckers to fuck off that we'll be firing back... when the bloody lines already turned into healed wounds.

The melody... The happy but cocky mood... The hurt Jimin...

The little giggle at the end made me smile and drop the shiny razor.

I touched the mirror with my trembling hands. I look so horrible with a creepy smile on. Even if I am showing my teeth, a tear fell. Signing that I won the battle with the fucked up me with the power of Park Jimin.

"You'll reach your dreams without a razor and thank Jimin for everything. Because without him, for sure you already made yourself forget how to fucking breathe."

•

This chapter fucking sucks. Why? I made it with my heart pumping so fast because of my anger with my own issues. Wanna kill someone so badly rn

Next chapter will be about Tae wondering in the streets to find a new job. Lmfao