(You are Never) ALONE

Chapter 8- Mistakes

Jake nodded. "Yes, she's my girlfriend...and?" He seemed puzzled. To him there was nothing out of the ordinary about this.

"She's your girlfriend!' Abigail repeated, her voice edged with disbelief.

"She is?" He asked jokingly. "I didn't know that! Wow, Cindy's my girlfriend!" He laughed.

"I just can't believe it."

"Why? Am I that unlikable?" He cocked his head to the side.

"No, you're fine, it's just..." Abigail paused, wondering if she should go on. It had already dawned on her that Cindy acted completely different around Jake than she did with her.

"It's Cindy? What's wrong with Cindy?"

"You honestly don't know?"

"Know what?"

Abigail studied his face, he was so clueless. She still barely knew him, but it hurt her to see him being manipulated by Cindy and her devious mind; and good hair.

"She's a witch, Jake!" She waited, staring straight ahead, for his reaction to her accusation. He wasn't saying anything, but through her peripheral vision, she could see his body shaking, probably with anger. She risked a glance in his direction and her jaw literally dropped when she saw that he was silently laughing. Laughing? How could he be laughing?

She just sat there, watching him. Slowly he came to the realization that she was not laughing with him and he stopped. He studied her cautiously.

"You-you were serious?" He seemed genuinely confused. "How can Cindy be so horrible?"

Abigail's heart sank. Her first almost-friend here and she was already hurting him after knowing him one period.

"She's not who you think she is." She responded.

It took a moment for the words to sink in, what was she saying? "Look, Abigail," He began. "You've been here less than two days, you can't go making judgments like that about people in such a short time."

"It's not a judgment," She was beginning to realize that she was not going to prove anything to him; Cindy had done too good a job covering up her true self. But she fought on, she needed him to understand. "It's a fact. She's mean. She acts like she's better than everyone-"

"She has never and will never act that way, Abigail!" He interupted her, his voice was starting to rise. "Everyone, teachers, students know that she's maybe the nicest person in the world!"

Abigail wanted this conversation to be over. "Exactly. Teachers, of course. Students? Have you seen her with anybody aside from her little group of friends? Of course she doesn't act like that with them." Her voice was also starting to rise, but unlike his, which was edged with anger and hurt, hers was filled with desperation. "I'm just trying to help you, I don't want to see her manipulate you" She whispered, lowering her head.

"You don't know Cindy like I know her. You don't know what we've been through. Just drop it okay Abigail?"

"She's going to hurt you one day" Abigail replied softly, her voice almost pleading.

"It's not even about Cindy anymore really; it's about how, by criticizing her, you're questioning my ability to make decisions. I would never be with someone like the person you've just conjured up. You're not just voicing your opinions about her anymore, you're doubting me. Friends aren't supposed to do that. They should trust each other."

Abigail was on the verge of tears. Because of everything she had gone through, she was more fragile than ever and it now took less and less to get her upset. What made it worse were his last few words. Friend. He had called her his friend. And now she had ruined it.

He sighed, standing up from his desk and moved over towards Cindy, wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her forehead lightly. She looked up at him, smiling that smile again. Abigail watched them sadly, resentment shining in her eyes. Suddenly, Jake glanced over at her, she couldn't quite tell, but she thought she saw regret there too, hidden underneath his pained expression. It was clear that neither of them wanted the fight, but Abigail couldn't take it back now. Cindy noticed Jake looking at Abigail and she quickly redirected his attention towards her again, which he easily obliged to. He gave her a big bear hug. She stood on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck, laughing. With Jake's back turned, Cindy, eyes smoldering with some sort of loathing, was free to shoot a hard glare at Abigail. As she did so, her earlier warning flashed in Abigail's mind again and the entire conversation with Jake began repeating itself.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the period. Abigail saw the French teacher talking to the class, but she couldn't hear anything that she was saying, just see her lips silently moving. She was still frozen in her seat as students rushed around her, gathering their books and leaving. And suddenly everything grew louder again, and Jake was in front of her, but he wasn't here to talk to her. He squeezed behind her chair and grabbed his books off of his desk.

"I'm sorry" She whispered as he moved away.

For a moment, she thought he was going to say something back. He had turned his head slightly, his mouth was slightly opened, as if he was about to talk, but he clamped it shut again as Cindy called his name. He shot a quick glance at Abigail, something; maybe sadness was reflected there, before he rushed over to join his girlfriend. Soon, they were both quickly lost among the other students exiting the class.

§

As Abigail walked into the cafeteria, lunch bag in hand, she couldn't help but notice a smiling Jake and Cindy among the group of "cool" kids sitting in their own little corner of the cafeteria. How she wished she were sitting there now, not to be with the "in" crowd, but just to be with Jake, her friend; that is, if she could still call him that. Abigail knew that she had blown it with Jake. She knew that she had fought too hard for too long and she knew that she had, in a way been criticizing him, even if she hadn't seen it like that at all. Therefore, she knew that she had lost the only chance of a friend she had and she knew that she would be sitting alone at lunch. Again.

Although she knew all these things, she was not prepared for the sudden feeling of lonliness that she felt as she sat eating her lunch, listening to people laughing all around her. And then it happened, all of a sudden, she felt an overwhelming sense of hate explode inside of her. Not at Cindy, not at Jake, not at her mom, not at her dad, not at anyone but her. She couldn't describe it and she certainly couldn't understand it. It disappeared however, as soon as it had come but it left a horrible feeling deep inside of her. Where did it come from? What did it mean? She hugged her stomach sadly, no longer feeling hungry.

She looked up as she heard a bright, girlish laugh. There they were, hand in hand. They were walking back to their table; the popular table. She desperately searched Jake's face, hoping to see some sort of recognition. He noticed her and Abigail couldn't help but feel a tiny spark of hope inside of her as he smiled, not a full out smile but a smile nonetheless. Cindy seemed to notice this fact too, however, and didn't like it. As they passed, she stared hard at Abigail, a gaze so piercing that it would send anyone running. He's so mine. Cindy mouthed, that fake smile painted onto her face again.

Abigail didn't know what made her do it, but she suddenly rose out of her seat, she leaned forward and her hand made contact with Cindy's face, a full out slap that left a splotchy red patch on her cheek. She sat back down heavily, a smug look on her face even though her insides were crawling with regret and disbelief. Second mistake. One more strike and she would be out.