(You are Never) ALONE

Chapter 14- Cut

            Abigail jerked awake again, her heart in her mouth. She rolled over and tried to calm herself, but she already knew that she was going to have yet another sleepless night. Every time she finally drifted off to sleep, her dreamland would turn into that darkened room with the mirror and the shadowy stranger. And then everything would come rushing back.

            Once 5:00 had come and gone, Abigail couldn’t take it anymore. She quietly made her way over to her laptop; she wanted to see if she could reconcile her friendship with Carli. She didn’t really understand what had happened that afternoon. One minute, she was asking Carli for help, knowing she would give it, as always (she herself had said “That’s what I’m here for Abs”). And the next, Carli didn’t want to hear another word. But was it Abigail’s fault that she had forgotten the important day that Carli had been talking about? Among all the demeaning and depressing things that had happened to Abigail in just over a week’s time, couldn’t she be cut some slack for forgetting one thing?

            She tried convincing herself of this as she watched her laptop run its multiple start-up screens, but already, she knew it was a weak argument. She knew that, had she been in Carli’s position, she wouldn’t have let it go so easily, it could’ve only been extravagantly important to Carli to make her act like this and Abigail was beating herself up for forgetting it. It had to have been a milestone for Carli for it to have sparked such a harsh reaction. First 102% on a test, not good enough. First kiss, done. First date- Abigail’s stomach churned. Of course, her date with Brian. It all made sense now. As soon as the home page loaded, Abigail rapidly double-clicked the Internet icon, she needed to get Carli to understand.

            Hey Carli

            She put as the title of the e-mail. She quickly deleted it and went with

            I’m sorry

            She deleted that too and left the title blank, she moved onto the body of her message.

            Carli, i’m so sry that i forgot about you’re date with Brian on Wed. Everything has just been so up in the air for me, it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore, but I’m here now....

          i hope that you can forgive me, but I won’t blame you if it takes a while, I know how important that was for u, and believe me, i’m just as surprised at forgetting about it as u r. So, as I did yesterday, now it’s your turn to spill your troubles to me. I’m listening :)

          Sry again. I miss you.

          Love, your Abby <3

            She hesitated, her cursor hovering over the ‘send’ button. What if she was just opening Pandora’s box? Stirring up more unnecessary trouble? But Carli deserved it at the least; she needed to know that Abigail was thinking about her. She heard the click of the mouse and watched the little message that popped up that said: Your e-mail has been sent. She stared at that message for a while, just thinking, and the she felt the same hatred burning deep within her. It seemed that nothing sparked it to happen, it just did. How expected it was becoming now.

            It seemed like a year before it was time for Abigail to leave for school. Sure she dreaded what Cindy might do (her threat still fresh in her mind), but as it was after her father’s funeral, better to risk it than sit around with her thoughts as she had been doing. She yelled goodbye to her mom who was working in her office, she barely got a nod back from her; her mother was so engrossed in her work. It made Abigail feel unappreciated, unloved even. This new job was supposed to have brought happiness to her and her mom, but it was merely just forcing them farther and farther apart.