Deadpool x Reader (Funny Fanfic)

Keeping you Alive for a Reason

"Everyone? Are you serious? What happened to the "Others?" Y/N questioned.
"Usually I just, y'know..Un-alive them."
Y/N stared out in space thinking about the word "Un-alive"
"DO YOU MEAN KILL THEM?!"
"Hey the K-word seems a bit much, don't you think?"
"A-are you going to k-kill me?" Y/N ignored and stuttered.
"Nah, you seem ok..." Deadpool said, propping his head on a pillow. There was an awkward silence. Y/N showed where his/her video games were and they played for hours. Deadpool and Y/N fell asleep on the couch at 3:28 a.m.
Y/N yawned, slightly opening there eyes looking around at the apartment living room seeing popcorn all over the floor and empty soda cans on the table. Y/N sat up and stared at Deadpool, still asleep. Desperate to know what was under the mask. Y/N got up a kneeled by Deadpool, looking at him, wondering if he was asleep or awake.
Whispering, "I can't tell if he's asleep or not because of that stupid mask." He/she sighed, and tapped Deadpool on the forehead.
"Hey, umm, Deadpool? You awake?" Deadpool slightly sat up.
"I'm fine.." He sat up all the way.
"Damn..what's with the headache?" Deadpool put his hand on his forehead.
"I don't know. Do you need to go to the docto-"
"I'm fine now." Deadpool said quickly.
"Wait, what?" Y/N was very confused.
"Oh yea. I still haven't told you about my Sick healing factor...It makes Wolverine look like a weak-ass bitch." Deadpool broke out into a loud laugh. Y/N was still confused.
Deadpool sighed. "Here, let me show you." He got up and went to the kitchen, while Y/N followed curiously. He whipped out a knife and cut his thumb and index finger off. Y/N covered his/her mouth.
"And that doesn't hurt you?!"
"Yea, it hurt like Hell, but they'll grow back in about 2 minutes."
"Woah!" Y/N looked at Deadpool amazed and disgusted at the same time.
"I'm not cleaning that up though."
"I knew you wouldn't volunteer for it anyways." Deadpool chuckled.
"I can make breakfast too, if you would allow that.."
Y/N stared. "Oh, OH, yea that's fine, you can."
"Cool." Deadpool said awkwardly cleaning up the blood. Y/N sat down at the breakfast bar.
"I hope you like Pancakes!" He smiled under the mask, but as usual, Y/N couldn't tell. He was just a blank face with an attitude.
10 minutes have passed and he had already made 27 pancakes.
"Ah, I love the smell of pancakes in the Morning. Smells like victory!" Deadpool still smiling.
"Hey, I remember this moment in issue 16!" Deadpool flipping pancake number 28. Y/N was looking at the pile of pancakes, then looking at him. Deadpool turned around with a giant stack of the delicious cakes, putting them in front of Y/N. He/She quickly took a bite.
"So how are they?"
Stuffing his/her face, "Dere really good.."
"Glad you liked em'. I've got to go to work." He lifted up his glove and looked at his Adventure Time watch, then looked back at Y/N.
"Are you gonna come back?" Y/N questioned.
"I knew you liked my company.." Deadpool said squinting his eyes.
"What?! I never said I enjoyed your presence....or anything.." Y/N said slightly blushing.
"Right. I'll catch you later. Maybe I won't get caught? Let's hope." Deadpool shrugged.
[Dude there totally into US!]
"I'm staring to notice-" Deadpool voice disappeared as he walked out the door with his guns and swords. Y/N watched him silently walk away.
"See you later....I guess."