for him. ✔

chapter seventeen.

Chanyeol felt dead.

It's ridiculous, he admits. Baekhyun was right, this could just be another one of those typical puppy love relationships wherein the couple felt hurt and in pain when they didn't work out and separated. Then they'd just move on and find another person to fill in the space, as simple as seasons changing.

But how could this just be plain puppy love, when Chanyeol felt like his will to live has completely been snatched from him? If this was puppy love, then is real, serious love even more painful?

A knock came on his door. Before he could even tell whoever it was to fuck off and leave him alone to drown himself in self-pity, the door creaked open.

"Chanyeol?" came the familiar, deep voice. He turned to the sight and saw Kyungsoo standing in the doorway uncertainly. "Can I come in?"

"You won't go away even if I tell you so," Chanyeol grumbled as he wrapped the covers tighter around his huge frame. "Just come in. I don't care."

After closing the door after him, Kyungsoo walked towards the bed. He pulled out his desk chair and took a sit down. His large, owl eyes darted around the room in curiosity before settling down on Chanyeol's huddled figure.

"Damn, you look ugly as fuck," Kyungsoo commented, completely unfiltered as usual.

"You don't have to tell me that."

"I came to bring you notes, since you've been absent for almost a week. You know, if you don't show up by Monday, they're suspending you."

"Not like I care."

"Baekhyun won't like this," Kyungsoo said, his voice sounding like it was crossing a narrow edge.

The name triggered feelings within Chanyeol. He scowled at the boy on his desk chair, who looked like he was prepared for whatever he would spit at him.

Chanyeol sighed, closing his eyes to calm himself down.

But bad move.

Tears streamed down his eyes unexpectedly, which he quickly wiped off.

"You need to get yourself together, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo firmly said. "This is stupid. Baekhyun will feel bad if he knows you've turned into this disgusting empty shell of a man. He clearly told you to move on already, why can't-"

"It's fucking hard, okay?!" Chanyeol yelled. "You don't understand because you're in a perfectly intact relationship with Jongin! B-Baekhyun and I are both problematic, and you're in no position to act like some kind of counselor to try and patch things up. Just don't Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo massaged his temples before pushing himself off of the desk chair, which fell backwards on to the chair. "Okay fine, whatever Chanyeol. Just... just try to fix your life. You still have us, you know. You're not alone."

With that, Kyungsoo threw the notes he promised onto his desk and left with a slam of his bedroom door. The silence was comforting, but it shoved a miserable truth into his face.

Chanyeol was a total mess.

♠

That night, Chanyeol found himself staring at Baekhyun's contact info. His picture was of him eating ice cream, completely unaware that Chanyeol had taken a photo of him during that time.

The memory made his heart ache.

Without even thinking straight, he pressed the bright green call button and held his phone to his ear while staring out at the peaceful night scenery from the balcony.