Why Do You Love Me? E.D~ G.D

Chapter 7 •My little bup•

Hey bups, I'm sorry for this announcement that I'm about to tell you, but it'll be worth it... I think.

For the next week and a half I will be busy at rehearsals for the play I'm starring in which is: Pride & Prejudice. I play one of the Bennet sisters; Kitty (Catherine) Bennet.  This role I've been given is a tough one because she is so girly and her voice is annoyingly high pitched... for my liking. My director Erin (she prefers that) said I would do great in the role because it's the opposite of me and she believes I can do it. Of course I've denied it and that I only like make up and that's all that's girly about me, other than that I like wearing cologne and other stuff. My voice is slightly deep, definitely not high pitched like kitty's. And im stressing out because I'm nervous and afraid I'll mess up or I'll miss my que. The upcoming hours are very long. This Saturday will be this longest: it starts from 8am to 9pm. Yes we will get lunch but since we're staying there so long we get to bring a sleeping bag😄😄.

Again, sorry for the bummer but I promise that after the play is done (which is may 17th, 18th, 19th) I will be publishing new chapters everyday to make it up to you. It will be difficult with my schedule but I'll manage.

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Recap:

I wake up and see Ethan still asleep. I carefully get out of bed to use the washroom. On my way there I stub my toe. Trying not to wake Eth, I cry silently in pain. Shit that hurt. After my little scene, I walk into the washroom to do my business. When I'm done I glance at the tests I forgot to throw away. I pick them up and throw them away. On my way out I stop dead in my tracks.

I turn back around and rush to the garbage to pick them out. I grab one and my mouth falls open in shock.

+ positive

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Shock. Shock is all I feel running through my veins. There is no way I am pregnant. How could I be so stupid to forget a condom? Damn you stupid nightmares. I'm not even 17 yet?! I turn 16 in 3 months. I don't want to be a teen mom, but I'm not gonna abort it. I hate abortions, they make me sick. I don't know what to do. I think I'm gonna stay and hide here all day.

Oh did I forget to mention I'm in the living room closet? Yeah, I moved in here at what.... 4:37 am? Anyway I have been crying on and off for hours. My phone is on 90% and the lighting is low so it won't die faster. I brought some food so I won't starve and kill my baby. I check the time and rear 10:18 am. They should awake by now. I sob more when I look back at the tests. It still shocks me.

The only thoughts running through my head are: stupid, dumb, idiot. My mom used to tell me I was gonna slut around and get pregnant at a young age when she used to drink. Didn't think she was right. My mother was so cruel to me yet I still loved her. Oh how I miss them.

Now I'm thinking about my baby growing up without an aunt or uncle. No grandparents on my side for them. Gosh my life is like a movie where something tragic happens. Oh now I sound like a self conceited bitch. Me me me, me this, I did that, me me me.

What is Ethan gonna think? He's gonna hate me. I know he said he'll stay by my side no matter what, but thoughts can change. That's it, I'm never leaving this closet. This can be my new home, inside my actual home?.... ok.

I sniffle when I take another glance at the tests. I grab one and snap it in half. Maybe I can keep it a secret. No, it's wrong to keep secrets. I have to tell him. Them.

"Kat?" Someone asks knocking on the door making me freeze. I hold my breath to help be quiet. My eyes widen when I realize it isn't good for the baby, so I breathe out. The person knocks again, but this time opens the door on the last knock. I shuffle the tests behind me. I sigh in relief when it's just Grayson.