Sorry it's been a while I've been having to deal with a dickhead flatmate for the last couple of weeks so haven't really had time to write, but I managed to get this done hopefully i'll post more regularly from now on.
"Kimba, Kimbaaaaaaaa" I heard Katie screaming with utter joy-full innocence, running towards me as I walked through my flat door. "Hi Munchkin I hope you've been good for Aunty Amy and Aunty Sally while i've been gone" I said as I let go of my case and picked her up and walked into the living room. Sally had gone home the day before I got backand so I spent the whole journey home on the phone to her to make up for not being able to see her. I looked around and could see a note Sally had left on the fridge.
*Well done, new you could do it!!! do us proud kidda! Love Sal*
I smiled leaving it there as i walked over to Amy giving her a hug "Hey Kim, I'm sooo proud of you, I can not believe YOU are going to judges houses" She squeeled with an excitement that didn't quite match the sad confusion in her eyes.
I felt my legs begin to buckle as I let Katie down, breaking down crying in the process. "Oh My God kim" Amy rushed over to me as she tried to sooth me. "I'm sorry" I managed to wisper out still catching my breath over the lump that had formed in my throat. "hey there's nothing to be sorry about. Did you personally take her back to that flat?" she asked looking at me "Did you give her the drugs? No and no, all you're guilty of is being a better mum to her daughter than she ever was or will be!" Amy ranted pulling me to my feet. "I know it's just" she cut me off "no buts" she said drying my tears with her thumb "You are the most amazing person I know, you're always saying how Sally has a right to hate Hannah but in truth if anyone 'had a right' it's you" she looked at me. By this point I'd calmed down alot and had sat down on the sofa with Amy watching Katie as she played on her leap pad un-aware of what was currently going on around her. "What do you mean?" I questioned "You moved hours from home to be somewhere fimiliar to Katie so she didn't have to suffer upheaval, you got a full time job and dropped out of Uni to look after her, you have helped Hannah get off the drugs before, you had your sexuality blasted to the courts because of her, Kimberley if she'd done to me half the things you've put up with I'd be in jail" I looked at her sadened by the sudden memory that invaded my brain.
"She was hurt, at the time I was her sister who she'd known for 5 minutes and I suddenly had custody of her daughter" I grabbed Amy's hand and squeezed it for reasurance as she looked at me sturnley and continued "Kim, stop living in this bubble, promise me when she gets better you cut off all ties, I can't see you go through that again, it's not good for you or the rest of us and most importantly it is not good for Katie" As Amy said this i agreed nodding and picking up Katie to go give her a bath, I didn't want to keep dragging up the past, it was all to much.
"Amy, do you have a problem with it?" i asked as I sat on the floor undressing Katie and ran the bath. "With what?" she questioned as she took a seat on the toilet lid. I was looking down hoping she would just catch on but she didn't "that she new about me and you didn't", As i said this her eyes showed a knowing look and she began to intensly think going over what she was going to say. "Bathe Katie and i'll tell you the answer, because i can't say what i'm going to say infront of a giggling hyperactive 1 year old, as she said this we both giggled as i nodded and put Katie in the now ready bath.
"Mam am am am" Katie gurgled passing me a bath crayon proudly, as I was about to correct her I changed my mind; She'd said it to often correcting her now would just confuse her more. "Thank you bubba, what say we get out, put ya jammies on and then as a special treat you can have chicken nuggets and chips for dinner, on the sofa with a film?" "YESSSSS" she screached as she lunged out of the bath falling onto me "Oi i'm soaked now missy" she giggled as I wrapped her up in her towel giving her a big hug. Katie went quiet and leaned her face towards my ear "I love you mammy" she wispered in my ear. I tried not to be saddened as I smiled back at her "And I love you too, do you know how much?" she shook her head playfully "Nope" I took her hands making actions to go with what i said "I love you all the way round the world annnnddd" as she caught on to what i was saying we both replied "BACK AGAINNNNN" I pulled her into a hug as Amy just sat and watched us laughing.
