Finally 18 (girlxgirl)

Chapter 34

I just look at her. She looks so tired and worn. Her hair is in a loose, messy top knot. Black joggers cover her legs and a gray crewneck sweatshirt covers her torso, with all black Vans on her feet.

She just looks at me too.

And soon, I can't take all this staring. I cup her cheeks in my hands and pull her to me, kissing her lips. Her hands set on my waist and she grips it lightly. I slowly pull away and she looks at me some more.

"Step back, I wanna look at you," she says. I step back a little, her hand gently squeezing mine. "You're so fucking beautiful," she says, pulling me back to her.

"Thank you," I say quietly, smiling at her. "Can we go somewhere, I don't want anyone to come looking for me..and I can't handle all this staring."

"Yeah, of course," she says, intwining our fingers.

We walk outta the park and to her car, getting in. I slide into the passenger's seat, as she starts the ignition and pull my shoes off.

"Did you just like leave while they were getting ready?"

"During the ceremony."

"You left during the ceremony?"

"Yeah," I nod, pulling off the heavy necklace.

"Why?"

"I couldn't do it, Alex," I sigh. "Not with him."

"I thought you loved him."

"I do. I just..my mind was racing and..I couldn't."

"Well..I think you made the right choice," she says, driving down the street.

"Of course you would," I smile at her, pulling my hair outta the updo and running my fingers through it.

She grabs my hand. "Seriously. I..I know I've made some big mistakes in the past..but I promise, I fucking promise you, baby, this time it'll be different. I love you way too much to fuck this shit up again, and I also love you too much to let you leave me again. It hurts way too much when you're not with me."

"..then how were those two years for you?"

"Literal fucking hell, Cooper. Most of the nights I didn't eat, couldn't sleep. I was a mess..but you had fun."

I wanna tell her that I was a mess too. A bigger mess than her probably. The only reason I met Ethan is because my parents made me go to Walgreens to get them some barbecue chips and a pack of cherry Cokes.

"Not really."

"Ohh?"

"I just wanna have fun now, with you."

"With me?" she smiles.

"Yes. You make me happy and that's all I wanna worry about."

"I make you happy?" she smiles again, looking at me.

"Really happy."

"How much is really happy?" she asks, pulling up to a red light.

I kiss her lips, running my tongue over her bottom lip. "Very really happy."

"Very really happier than that shitty Earl?"

I brush the messy strands of hair outta her face and nod slowly. "Mhmm."

"Thank you for loving me. I didn't know I was capable of giving such feelings."

"Alex, why do you always say things like that? Why do you hate yourself so much?"